Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
This is one of my lists for March’s theme of “Lists” for nablopomo, which I am miserably failing at keeping up and or writing lists at least once a day. April’s theme is “Letters.” Go here if you want the details.
Chemo sessions I had: 12
Duration of each chemo session: 3-5 hours via IV
Frequency of chemo: Once every 14 days
Days I was bedridden from chemo: ~72 days
Times I puked from having chemo: 432 - 864 (that figures about 6-12 times each of the 72 days)
Hair lost: every strand on head & body except eyebrows
Neupogen shots I received to boost my system so chemo wouldn’t be delayed: 48
Radiation therapy sessions: 10
Duration of radiation: 45 seconds front & 45 seconds back (kind of like roasting or grilling) I think it was 45 seconds.. can’t remember now.
Preparation time before radiation: 15 minutes
Lives we’ve been gifted as a result of all the above: 3 (my very own, and our 2 children)
Sunday, December 9th, 2007
Last week I received a set of appointment schedules in the mail. The appointments are for January next year, and the hospital is 3.5 hours away. (I don’t live in the boonies but this is a world renowned clinic and I prefer going there, also, my oncologist is there).
I’m due for my annual checkup, which includes a whole-body CT scan, several gigantic tubes of blood draw to test thyroid levels and whatever other things they’re suppose to check, physical examination by the oncologist. I’ve done this umpteen times so I’m not overly stressed. I just don’t like the required fasting, the barium sulfate crap, and the needles. OMG the needles. Did I tell you about the countless times where more than 2 people have to access my veins, because they can’t find it? Or it rolls? Or it’s been so busted that there aren’t any good ones left? Once both my arm veins were collapsed and I couldn’t bend my arms pain-free for over a week, and I had a 27 lb 1-yr old boy that needed carrying. Needles and I don’t get along very well at all. I digress.
There was a surprise appointment in there. A mammogram! I’m not kidding. I’m very flat. I’m 31. I’m still a long ways from the “required mammogram” age group. I don’t want to get my none-existent boobs squished between cold glass plates. I’m not ready. I’m too young for this. Sigh.
The reason why I need to do the mammogram is because I had Mantle Field radiation after chemotherapy, as an “insurance” thing (it’s very typical protocol). And because of the radiation, there is an increased risk of developing breast cancer. It’s a good thing that they’re keeping an eye on stuff, but yikes, I really don’t want to get squished.
I’m also suppose to see my GI doctor there (which I have to call and add on this request), so I can refill my prescription. This GI problem of mine is very embarrassing and I’m too ashamed to talk about it openly with anyone. It’s a chronic condition, which means there is no cure for it, and I’m required to take daily medication for the rest of my life. Let’s leave it at that okay? (I feel as if I’m 85, having all these medical problems…)
SO. It will be a very fun field trip day for me. I’m not looking really forward to it and I’m slightly anxious; I’m grateful nonetheless. Let’s just hope the weather cooperates and I wouldn’t have to drive in a snowstorm. Several more weeks of blissful ignorance before the onslaught of yucky barium sulfate drinks, iodine injection, and SHARP pointy needles. And squished boobies.
Tuesday, December 4th, 2007
19 years ago tonight, after what seemed like a never ending flight (more than 20 some hours), 8 of us landed in Chicago O’Hare Airport. Jet-lagged, hungry, cold, shivering, and shocked to the core from culture-shock, we headed to our relatives house to stay for the night before going to Iowa and reunite with my grandparents.
Dragging along 16 bags of our life-belongings (two per person, containing mostly clothes), my aunts family of 4 and our family of 4 were like deers in the headlight. We had no idea where to go or what to do. We followed my great-uncle closely, fearing he might lose us in the massive sea of people.
I was 12. Bewildered by the scenes and people that we passed by, I was speechless. I couldn’t even cry.
All I wanted was to go home, where everything was familiar and not scary and where I knew practically everyone in my surroundings.
Tonight, 19 years later, I can’t imagine any other place I would rather be but right here. Right here in Iowa with my husband and two kids.
Monday, November 26th, 2007
We decided in February this year to sell our first home, move across the state line, and start our business. That seemed simple enough, but selling a house in a down market while you’re still living in it, with two children under 4 who also live there, is definitely not a walk in the park.
When people go look at houses, they want to see it like houses would appear on magazines. With all the pretty pillows arranged, the towels all folded in the bathroom, beds made, no laundry baskets laying around, no toys anywhere except in a hidden basket or nicely showcased on the coffee table, dishes must be washed and put away, driveways shoveled, floors dusted and or vacuumed, mirrors windexed, (and on the list goes). And they want to see it 15 minutes after they make the call to you / your real estate agent.
How is that possible with TWO kids who normally act like tornadoes tearing through things?! It’s not. That’s how. During the day we practically lived at the library or the mall or the park weather permitted and the kids nap in the car, so that the house doesn’t get messed up just in case someone decides to come see it. But it gets old after a while, and the kids get cranky and tired of not having any of their favorite things out.
For the whole 6 weeks that the house was on the market, we were on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Did they like the house? Why did these people come for a second showing but didn’t make an offer, any offer? No one called for showings again? What are they saying about our house? What can we do to get them to come back? It was worth it at the end though. We were fortunate and we got out of there just in time. And things all fell into the right places with time.
I don’t particularly miss the house. But I do miss having hardwood floorings, a super sized nice deck, and the private yard. It has an 1 acre yard, right smack in the middle of suburbia. It was a beautiful house. We have so many memories there as a family, good and bad. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s less than a week after we moved our boxes in there. Both of our kids were born and we endured so many sleepless nights walking up and down the hall. Our family visits and gatherings. We humans are the only species who carry and treasure our memories in the way we do.
Look at the house. Wouldn’t you have fallen in love too?
However, I do like living in a newer house too. The maintenance cost is lower, the insulation and electrical work is much better, and the bathrooms/bedrooms are more updated to suit today’s lifestyle. I LOVE the new code requirement for electrical outlets - there’s one everywhere I need it - I haven’t needed to use any extension cords!
Do you prefer old style homes, with charm and character, and likely lots privacy and land? Or do you prefer newer homes with all the modern updates?
Monday, November 19th, 2007
I put a lot of thought into this and took at least 2 hours to complete it. Very crazy.
I was recently tagged by the beautiful Sandy at momisodes AND the gorgeous Michelle at Fabricated Goddess to do the Crazy 8. It’s been DAYS.. wait, maybe even more than a week.. Yikes. So I better get on with it. So here goes the crazies. Thanks for the tags.
8 things I’m passionate about.
1. My kids. I love them to bits and pieces and will do anything and everything to keep them safe. And I know Karate, mama style, and beyatch style. So don’t mess with me.
2. My husband. He carried me through the toughest times of my life: fighting my cancer alongside me just 10 weeks after our wedding, and picked me up and pieced me together for the second time 4 years later, after we lost our 2nd baby. He deserves Husband of the Century Award.
3. My family. Some are too nice and some not so nice, some makes me run the other way and pretend I don’t know them. But I do, and I still love them all the same.
4. Our business. This KangarooBoo is consuming my days and nights and nearly every waking moment I have.
5. Food. I LOVE to eat. If I were to list my favorite foods, it would take an entire page, and more. But at the top would be sushi and dimsum — both unfortunately cost an arm and two legs for ONE meal. There’s no dimsum here anyway..
6. My friends. I know a lot of people, but I have very few good friends. I could probably count my very good friends with one hand and still have spots left. But the ones that I do have, I love them dearly. I live far away from all of them. But if we did not talk for months or even years, we’d pick up where we left off and no one would feel one bit awkward. And they wouldn’t mind that I listed them after “food”..
7. Cancer research / charity. In a retelling of the Aesop fable of the Lion and the Mouse by Mark White, at the end there is a line where the mouse says to the lion, “You didn’t think I could help you, but an act of kindness is never wasted.” There is no amount that is too small when it comes to charity. It might be small to you, but it is not for the one you helped.
8. My computer/internet. It connects me to (way too many) things and people that I would otherwise not able to. Like you yourself! Did you know it also connected me to my husband?
8 Things I want to do before I die…
1. Travel the world with my husband. By flight, by sea, by train. The list is very long, and I hope we will have the funds and energy to do it all. The type of travel we want to do is self-guided. No tours, no cruises. Well maybe a cruise just once to see what the big wah-hoo is about. 
2. See all the Great Wonders. I would be happy if I only saw half.
3. See my kids have kids, and possibly grandkids. I was practically raised by my great-grandmother, who passed away when she was 92. I want to experience that, having great grandkids. Probably not carrying them on my back like my great-grandmother did though We didn’t have strollers.
4. Learn how to swim. I know! Can you believe I don’t know how to swim!
5. Live in another state/country.
6. Learn to speed read. I read very slow. My brain doesn’t seem to want to cooperate and translate the data, so I have to read things 2 or 3 times. Sometimes more. It’s a wonder I get anything done, and this is precisely the reason why I don’t comment much on blogs or read that many blogs or read any books. Also if/when I read books, I need to know what happened at the end, RIGHT NOW. So I read as many pages as I can in one sitting..
7. Learn how to be a better public speaker. Sure I can talk for hours and hours and hours… (just ask my friends who had to endure it over the phone with me!) but put me in front of a few people, I freeze.
8. Build an orphanage. Or a few. One summer day when I was a young child, I was at the river doing some washings with my aunt. A box floated by.. my aunt brought it closer to see what was inside. She opened it and saw… a dead infant girl. I saw it too. She said a prayer and sent the box away. I was no more than 6 years old and that memory has haunted me since.
8 Things I say often….
1. Oh shit.
2. You guys, Stop it! What can I say, the kids get on each other’s nerves. They like to play with each other but they both have strong personalities and the result is, mama ends up shouting.
3. What happened? Again, kids-related.
4. What did you do? Yep, you guessed it.
5. What are you doing? OK this is getting old.
6. What’s for dinner? Hubby now cooks some of the meals and I’m not very good with surprise food.
7. Good job!
8. I love you.
8 Books I’ve read recently…
1. Mr. Doodle had a poodle.
2. The Lion and the Mouse
3. Tell Me Why (a science sort of book, toddler level, in Chinese)
4. Chicka Chicka ABC
5. Down by the Station
6. Parents Magazine (does that count??)
7. The Bisquits Collection
8. Fiona’s Magic Fairytale.
* After I finished this and the previous section, I realize just how rooted the kids are in everyday things, in everything.
8 Songs I could listen to over and over…
I’m going to be the only person who will leave this blank. I prefer silence. There aren’t any songs in the world that I could listen to over and over and over. None. Zilch.
Whew. That was the easiest one.
8 Things that attract me to my best friends….
1. Reliability. This has to be the most important thing for me. If I can’t rely on you when I need you, then fergettabout it. Sadly (fortunately depending on how you look at it), my traumatic experiences has shown me which ones I couldn’t rely on.
2. Honesty. If I’m being a jerk, tell me. If I’m making your day, tell me, too.
3. Common interests. If we don’t like to do anything together, then fergettabout it too.
4. Humor. Everything is better when there’s laughter.
5. Rich. (just kidding! I was testing if you’re still awake)
6. Kind.
7. Love/big heart.
8. Shared viewpoints / morals / “Same wavelength” about things.
8 People who should do this Crazy Eights meme:
1. Amie
2. Andie
3. Lisa
4. Elaine
5. Mary Mia
6. Lotus
7. Mumsgather
8. Aimee.
Wednesday, August 8th, 2007
NOTE:
Please feel free to add your advice / tips on selling a house, on moving in general, in the comment section. I’m sure you all have some fabulous ideas that I haven’t thought of or heard of.
* * * * *
First and foremost, work with someone whom you feel completely comfortable with and who actually believe in your home’s potential and value. If they don’t believe in your house, how are they going to make any buyers / buyers agent believe it?!
Interview agents. Interview the finalists for a 2nd time if you have a hard time deciding on one. Ask the same questions to each agent. Negotiate on commission if you can, the worst they can say is no. Trust your gut feeling because most of the time it is accurate. Once you have found the agent to your liking, then you need to trust his/her advice.
I personally don’t recommend selling a house by owner, because you have to do all the showings yourself and most people feel uncomfortable viewing the house if the owner is present. But if the market is in the upswing and in your favor, then by all means, give it a try if you are not on a time constraint. We didn’t want to pay a huge hefty percent to a realtor but we didn’t really have time on our side.
So, to the point, here are the bullet points:
* Price it right. The agent should provide you with a full comparative analysis and suggest a listing price. Go to open houses that are in the same price range as yours, who are in the same proximity, seek out the competition and see what they / their house have to offer.
* DE-CLUTTER, DE-CLUTTER, DE-CLUTTER! No one wants to picture living in a house filled with STUFF everywhere, especially not YOUR stuff. You want people to be able to “see themselves” in the house; how you live is NOT how you should show the house.
* Pack away all pictures that have adults in them (and children’s pictures too if they are older). For some reason, most people are OK with kids’ / babies pictures but not grown up pictures. I think pictures of grown ups hinders potential buyers from seeing themselves living there; it’s someone else’s house and not mine kind of thinking.
* CLEAN. Clean the whole house like you never have before.
* STAGE, STAGE, STAGE. Again, this is the “how you live is NOT how you should show the house” idea. Stage up your house, spruce it up with decorative items, make it as much “magazine-like” as you can. Rugs, pillows, candles, wall hangings / paintings, nice towels in the bathrooms, matching pillow cases and shams and bedspreads, etc do make a huge difference in presentation.
* Kitchen counter spaces should hold only a few essential / decorative items.
* Bathrooms should be close to spotless.
* Beds needs to be made and again, magazine-like. THEY don’t get to keep your bed or bedspreads, but it will make it so much more cozier and pleasing to the eye if you make the bed like a magazine’s would.
* Pack away off season clothes and hide them under the beds or put in the basement or attic. Make your closet half full to give the illusion that it’s bigger than actual.
* If you have kid(s), pack away bulky or loose pieces of toys. On the same note, pack away stuff that you don’t use often. When showing requests comes, you want to be able to whirl through the house and tidy in a speedy manner.
* Paint the interior. Most likely daily wear and tear has left some smudges on the walls, painting it a neutral color will make them go away and give the space a new and fresh look. This is one of the cheapest investment/improvement that will give the highest return when selling a house. Be sure the colors flow easily from room to room.
* Go through and fix the “little” stuff. The cosmetic things that will matter a lot. Such as blown out light bulbs, broken hinges, nail holes in the wall, leaky faucets, etc.
* Make sure the entrance, inside and outside, is clean and welcoming with rugs, and a place to put their shoes.
* Make your garden / yard as attractive but easy to care as possible. Repair any siding issues if necessary.
* If you’re going to do any remodeling, go with the kitchen first. Then bathrooms. For major remodeling, those 2 will get you the most return for your investment.
* Don’t refuse any requests for showings. Try to accommodate all requests because you don’t want to second guess if you might have lost a potential buyer. The people who bought our house requested their first showing time to be 8-9p.m. That’s right, P.M. Our kids’ bedtime is 8p.m. We ate dinner, cleaned the house, packed up the kids and drove around the city until they fell asleep. And those people bought the house after 3 more unreasonable showing time requests. As much as I think we could have done better in the transaction, the fact remains that we sold it after only 6 weeks in a not-so-hot market. For that, I’m very glad we didn’t refuse any of their unreasonable request times.
Selling a house is a huge daunting experience, especially when you have little children and or pets. I really hated the whole experience. The next time we move, if possible, I want to move out first because I just really did not like tidying up every single day and never knew what would happen that day. There are so many factors on why a house goes and why another won’t. But if you decorate it magazine-like then potential buyers are more likely to be drawn to the house.
Friday, July 20th, 2007
Life. Is. Good.
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
Sunday, April 15th, 2007
I wish I could tell you that the house is sold already. We’re hanging in there. During Spring Break last week, we had NO showings and it was discouraging, but this week it’s much better. In fact, there were 3 showings yesterday alone. We have another Open House today. The weather is getting warmer so maybe people will come out more for house hunting. Hope so. Really really hope something will result soon.
My brother and his wife just had their third child several weeks ago. Annabel. We went to visit them and our kids were just smitten with her! She was so adorable, and a very good baby. She woke every 3 hours to eat and didn’t fuss much if at all. Seb told me “Mama, I want a baby Annabel.” On the way home, Hubby looked at me in all-seriousness and said “it makes me want another one.” Ha ha ha… We’ll just have to see about that.
Now, don’t read any further if you don’t want to read about my cooter. Seriously, consider yourself warned!!
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I uhhhh shaved myself. And may I just say OUCH. When I had chemo 6 years ago, I lost all body hair except my eye brows. I remember feeling very glad not having to shave my legs and pits, and it felt nice not to have hair “down there” too. But of course I was too sick to have done much with it or had much fun at all, being bedridden every other week. I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME but the other day I went and shaved it. Oh my. I didn’t anticipate the stubble pain… razor burn… etc etc. Do you shave there? Trim? Like it as is?
After several days of enduring pains that I don’t know how to describe, it’s not so bad now. But those few days is just.. miserable. I haven’t really decided if this is going to be the new me or if I want to go back to the old me. If you “maintain it”, do you have tips/advice to share with the internet, I mean me? Feel free to email me (email button to the right side) if you don’t want to leave it in the comments. Thanks!
Saturday, March 24th, 2007
I haven’t been commenting on anyone’s blog forever and I’m sorry. There is no excuse really. I hope this phase will pass soon so that I can get in touch again. Hope everyone’s well, or as well as can be. Spring tend to make everything better.
Haven’t moved yet. No official offers on the house yet either. Sigh.
We’re cleaning the house anywhere from 1 to 3 times a day, with 2 small kids running around our legs. Grabbing, whining, fighting, screaming, and whatnots are very normal occurrences here these days. Oh yes, and lots of shouting because we’re just not stressed enough yet.
When we have showings, we scramble to clean up everything, put out our better rugs and table liners etc., load the kids in the car and just drive. One showing was requested 18 minutes prior. I’m SO not kidding. EIGHTEEN minutes. I was still in bed… We left the house without our socks on.
Fortunately now the weather is warmer it’s easier to find things to do when showings are requested and we have to fly the coop.
By the way, here are some pictures of our coop. If you or a friend or friends’ friend are interested in finding out more (moving to Minnesota?!), email me and I’ll get you in touch with our realtor.
(Our city was rated as the #10th best place to live in the USA by CNN / Money Magazine just several months ago. The elementary school is one of the best in the state of MN.)
Amazing panoramic hilltop view, with a private wooded 1-acre lot.
Open floor that connects the living room (brick fireplace, built in shelves, cabinets, picture-window) to the kitchen (new flat cooktop, exhaust hood, fridge with built-in ice maker) to the informal dinning with an extra wide 8′ patio door, which opens up to a custom-made 16′x20′ octagonal maintenance-free deck.
A wonderful deck to watch the sunrise, enjoy and entertain in the extra private yard.
A baby room with built in organizers:
Brick fireplace in roomy family room in the lower level (walk-out) :
Huge office / guest room / workout room in the lower level.
All these and much much more! Such as hardwood flooring throughout the main level (except kitchen), high efficiency furnace and AC, maintenance-free gutters, storage space galore, pantry in the kitchen, plus many many updates.
So why are we giving it up?! Family. And career. We would live here for years and years if not for those reasons. We love this house and have been taking very good care of it. Hopefully it will get passed onto someone who will equally enjoy the charm and privacy of this house.
Friday, March 9th, 2007
The photographers came yesterday to take pictures. Later today (Friday) our house will be officially listed on the MLS.
It’s been 6.5 years since we moved in. Our first house, our first home as man and wife. Now we are a family of four. So much has happened. So many memories here, good ones and bad ones. So many physical changes were made to the house - the list was one page long. We had thought we would live here for at least 10-15 years and many of the improvements were made based on that assumption..
Those of you who have moved / sold a house (some more than once), any suggestions or tips? What would you do differently if you had to do it again, knowing what you now know? We’re moving to a city 3.5 hours from here.
Let the fun begin.
Saturday, December 30th, 2006
Seriously. Saying it in a Meredith Grey / Izzie sort of tone. This kinds of practice should be banned.
It’s just wrong. In every sense of any direction. It’s fine if you don’t agree with me. But honestly, I would not want my own mother to be 80 when I’m merely an adolescent. And she isn’t even my biological mother (DNA wise) not that that is an important issue or an issue at all, but worthy of mentioning nontheless.
Like one of the articles says, the woman is merely a surogate because both the egg and the sperm were donated. I realize this will sound awful, but if you must go that far to become a mother, why not do it earlier? Why not adopt? Why put the child/ren through “early orphaned”? WHY?! What is next? MEN getting pregnant? We already know sex-change operations can be done, will the doctors invent a way to “install” wombs too? OMG.
I’m perfectly fine with people using technology to achieve pregnancies and have babies. It’s the age part that does not sit well with me. Look at this one. I mean, for lack of better words, what the hell?!?! 47 years of marriage and no previous children, and now when they are 64 and 74 respectively, they do IVF. It’s.. I’m speechless.
There should be an age limit imposed on this. I will definitely cast my vote.
In this country, and many others I’m sure, there are age limitations on a lot of things such as drinking (alcohol), voting, driving, etc etc. They mandate a ‘minimum’ age limit. For the in-vitro and the likes there should be a ‘maximum’ age limit as well.
Thursday, December 7th, 2006
Words completely failed me. (Among the many googled links, you can also read more about James Kim here and here. He was a husband, a father of a 4 yr old and a 7 month old, and worked for CNET.com )
I first read about this story yesterday morning on another blog. I was very much hoping, like everyone else, that they will find him alive and reunite with the rest of the family. I’m not the praying type but I consciously looked up and said a hopeful phrase in my mind.
While I’m very very glad that they found Kati, Pennelope, and Sabine safe and sound, I, a stranger who’ve never known the man, became paralyzed with sadness and pain when the news came that they had found his body. She is now a widow, and the two small children are likely not to have much if any recollection of their father. The story is incredibly incredibly sad. It could have been any of us, it could have happened to anyone.
Hubby and I are about the same age as James and Kati; their two children are about the same age as our two kids. I just cannot think of Kati and what the array of emotions she’s going through without breaking down myself. I tried to put myself into her shoes, of going through a whole 11 days in the wilderness with two small children and dwindling hope of being found. Of keeping everyone, especially the baby and toddler warm and fed and occupied in the small confined space of their car (it’s difficult for me even in the luxury of my home with aids such as toys and computer and TV). Of the probably many conversations they had trying to decide what to do to get out, to get help. It was too much to bear even just thinking about it. My heart aches for Kati and the two children. And to think of what must have gone through James’ mind during his last hours and last minutes on earth is enough to break a heart of stones.
I know many others will feel a strong connection to this family and their painful story, especially those who are parents of young children themselves. Imagine if it were your family, how would you like strangers to send help?! Please go to their website, made by one of their friends, and consider making a donation to help their family. I’m sure even $5 or $10 will help. I will be making a donation myself. Collectively, perhaps our gestures will help ease their pain just a little bit.
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
After posting Part I nearly 4 weeks ago, I’ve finally written Part II. It’s very choppy and not as well written as Part I in my opinion. Next Monday is my 18th anniversary of coming here. I think I will have a drink to celebrate it.
* * *
Riding a Greyhound was almost like a luxury to my 12-year-old self — except I had motion sickness and was terribly uncomfortable the whole time from Chicago to eastern Iowa. What was supposed to be a 2.5 hour car ride was doubled riding a Greyhound. They stopped at pretty much every fast food place and detoured away from the major highway at all times. BUT! They had cushioned seats, heated interior, and a bathroom. A bathroom! on a bus! With a relatively clean toilet and lots of toilet paper (I will share with you my obsession over clean public toilets and abundant toilet paper in another post some other time).
When we reached my grandparents place, I was completely crushed, disappointed, and homesick. Sure, they lived better than we had been in China, but not by much and more importantly, this was NOT at all what I had imagined my new life will become. They lived in a small apartment right across from their business, right in downtown (aka bad part of town). They ate and worked at their business, and only went to the apartment to shower and sleep (they worked 7 days a week). The apartment had two bedrooms. No washer/dryer, no dishwasher, no oven, no microwave. A tiny black and white TV stood on the kitchen countertop, a small fridge and some very used furniture were all that they had.
There were 8 of us (our family of 4 and my aunt’s family of 4) joining my grandparents so there weren’t any rooms for us to sleep, let alone spaces to put our belongings etc. They didn’t have any vehicles — they didn’t need one to get to/from work as they lived precisely 45 seconds of walking distance away. They washed a lot of their clothes by hand like they used to when they were younger back in China, and what they couldn’t wash by hand they took to the laundromat 2 blocks away.
It was early December when we arrived. Everything was brown, trees were bald, streets were empty. I wanted to go back to China very badly. At least it wouldn’t be as cold (lowest temperature was about 4C where I was born), I would have my friends and I would understand what people were saying around me. And I would have decent edible food that I was used to and enjoy. I was seriously depressed. Bewildered by everything and everyone around me, but depressed nonetheless.
Us 4 kids started school in early January. My cousin “Ruby” and I were at the same elementary school while our brothers were at the same junior high school. We were all miserable. No one understood our language (we carried pocket dictionaries around so we could point to words). The school lunches were horrible — not horrible in the sense that they were not nutritious, but in that we have never had these types of western foods before. Ruby and I were in different homeroom classes, at least we had ESL together.
Fast forwarding the 6 months of pure hell in elementary school where we learned our ABC’s, days of the week, the months, the numbers, colors. You know, learning English from scratch, at age 12 and a half. My comprehension was so bad that at one point I thought a “body shop” meant something very dirty. We also got made fun of by our classmates on a daily basis without even understanding what they were saying.
Onto junior high to attend the same school with our brothers. By this time, we have made some friends, and our English were improving. a. lot. We were more confident and somewhat assimilated. We also kicked everyone’s asses in math class (we were about 4 years ahead of our peers). More learning, more adjusting, making more friends in the years to come. It was not easy, there were no other Chinese students or teacher’s aid in our school district. However, within 1-2 years, all of us were assimilated into regular classes, ESL were no longer part of our curriculum. We were all on the Honor Roll every semester until high school graduation. We didn’t have any help other than my grandparents elderly friends from time to time. Our parents also had a difficult time adjusting, even more so than us youngster because of their age. Imagine something like not knowing how to swim at all and you’re suddenly submerged in the ocean, surrounded by nothing but water and having nothing to hold onto except a tiny piece of wood. There is nothing you can do but learn to swim very very quickly (well that was a bad analogy… you get the gist of it) But no one gave up and no one went home to China. I suppose there will be a part of us that will forever be attached to our motherland.
Almost 18 years later, all 4 kids are now adults with college degrees and own our own houses. Our parents are doing relatively good financially too, having amassed some money. I think we all have made it and are living the illusive American Dream. After all, we are Americans now.
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
This is unbelievable. I can’t even imagine the pain the family must endure now, and forever. Policemen are supposed to protect, not harm. We’re paying their salaries, we put our trust in them to keep the streets safe, and we count on them to keep the bad guys locked up, not be the bad guys.
It’s almost 1 a.m. right now. More on this when I am less drowsy.
