Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
Hi! Remember me? I’ve missed you.
I’d tell you that it’s been a fun couple of weeks in the Greek Islands, or Hawaii, or somewhere WARM, but truth is, I’ve been here in Iowa all along. Haven’t gone anywhere and nobody is gravely ill so thank goodness for that. But I’ve had it with this weather. I know I complained every winter when we lived in Minnesota but this feels just like Minnesota winter / fickle spring. WTH. Did it follow me here?!
In any case, things are rolling along here. Very busy with work, the kids, and not folding our washed laundry.
Today I heard from a long lost friend (HI!) and she’s going to move here in a few months! Her work is going to be literally within walking distance to our house! Well, 15 minutes is walking distance right? I think we mid-westerners are really spoiled with driving everywhere, but I can’t seem to bring myself to walk anywhere when (a) it takes a while to walk anywhere (b) it’s so darn cold (c) no one else do it around here so we’d look like lost souls strolling the sidewalks. It was good to hear from her and even better that she’s moving here soon. Very excited! She’s one of the few people I know who can out-talk me, when I’m in the talkative mode. I think we’ll have a great time! Oh yes, she has never met our kids yet. We did see each other when I was pregnant with our now 4.5 yr old son; that’s how long I haven’t seen her.
Did I also mention my in-laws are coming this summer? All the way from Malaysia? I can’t wait for summer, in more ways than one. Seriously, I have a great set of in-laws and we get along fabulously, most of the time.
If this is not the most disjointed post EVER, I don’t know what is.
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
In 5th grade, my brother and I moved to the city to live with our grandmother, so we could attend a better school (I was still living in China). This was where I met M, who was also in my class among 60 some other kids. I do understand that smaller class size would allow the teachers to give more attention students - but that’s unheard of in the city we lived. Class sizes were generally 50-70. Can you imagine 60+ some kids in one class, with one teacher???
M lived about 5 sky rises away from my grandmother’s and she was everything I wanted to be. Her parents were artists, quite sophisticated people who lived sophisticated and luxurious lives. Both her and her brother were also rather artistic and had entered in drawing competitions etc. Their house was at the top floor, knocking down the wall in-between and joining 2 flats into one extremely large one.
Coming from the countryside having lived peasant-style lives, M’s house was a castle to me. There were leather sofa and chairs, big screen TV (in color!), nice decorations, gorgeous rugs!, big refrigerator with loads of goodies, and very comfortable cushion-y mattresses. I’ve never slept on a mattress before - my bed was a giant piece of hard wood plank topped with bamboo liner in the summer and an old thick blanket in the winter. She even had her own desk, with nice posters hanging all around her room.
Despite our vast different material backgrounds, M and I got along rather nicely. My personality and M’s were very similar. We both liked to wear shorts more than skirts and didn’t take to the girly frilly things that some of our peers did. Since her house was on the way to school, I usually stopped by and wait for her, and we’d walk to school together. She would show me all the places along the way - this store’s ice cream was really good, or that bookstore had some great books but they’ll scold you if you go in to read and not buy, etc. Some days we would take the long route, skipping along the rice paddies to admire the birds and bugs. Other days there were other girls joining us to walk to school. M and I were very good friends, she knew my secrets and which boys I liked. I knew who she dreamed about and would go give them lots of “hints.” We had loads of fun together, doing homework at her house, watching TV and or bouncing on the bed.
She never once looked down on me because of my poor background.
After I moved to the US 1.5 years later, we kept in touch via letters. (This was pre-internet days). It was lovely and I missed her and my other friends dearly. We kept in touch for a very very very long time, until we both graduated college. We visited each other both times I went back to China (in a total of 19 years..) We just seemed to pick up where we left off and continue right on. She’s forever a giving soul and my heart always has a place for her. She’s now married as well, with a one-year old son. We don’t talk very much - but I know she’s doing fine and are busy with her adult life and parenthood. I haven’t seen her in nearly 9 years. I miss her and think of her from time to time.
She’s the sister I never had but wish I did. I am so fortunate to have her in my life, albeit how infrequent we get to talk with or see each other.
Monday, December 31st, 2007
A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door.
It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams.
There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.
Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
“Jack, did you hear me?” !
“Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.
“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him. “I loved that t old house he lived in,” Jack said.
“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said.
“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through s pace and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture….Jack stopped suddenly.
“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.
“The box is gone,” he said
“What box?” Mom asked.
“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,’” Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. “Mr. Harold Belser” it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.
“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:
“Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser.”
“The thing he valued most was…my time”
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his! appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked.
“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said.
“Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”
x x x x x
The above was a fwd from a friend, and I wanted to share it with you.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing the ups and downs of 2007 with me. Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful 2008 and I look forward to hanging out with y’all.
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
In the last week or so, we’ve gotten some blog buzz.
So I made a page where I list all the blogs that have posted mentions of KangarooBoo. I truly appreciate the kindness and sincerity. I thought I’d share with all of you too. The page will sit permanently on my sidebar to the right, immediately below the “calendar” there (or maybe I’ll move it to the header? not sure yet).
Linky Love Page
My little token of thank you.
Tuesday, December 4th, 2007
Grab some tissues before proceeding if your tears run easily like mine.
- - -
A lot of times I don’t believe things happen for a reason, but if I allow myself to take a closer look to dissect and analyze events and sequences in which they happen, I often end up with the conclusion that indeed, things do happen for a reason.
I “met” Sandy because of this year’s Nablopomo. Her blog is Momisodes. She’s funny, witty, talented, beautiful inside and out, and our two-year-old daughters are exactly 6 days apart. From reading her blog, she’s also likely to have the same taste in food choices as I do. I wonder how often we would hit the noodle joints and dimsum places together if we lived closer and close to good ethnic foods.
Unbeknownst to me, Sandy is also a co-founder of ConnectingMoms, and she wanted to interviewed me! I was very excited at the opportunity and said yes. Here’s the interview link, in which you’ll read about some of the things in my past and where I talked a little about our store KangarooBoo as well. Little did I know she also wrote a very moving post about me yesterday on her blog. I cried when I read her post. I broke down and wads of tissues ensued wiping my eyes and nose.
Thank you Sandy for everything. I am so glad to have met you online and hope we will meet in person some day. I’m sure our girls will enjoy each other’s company as well.
Friday, November 30th, 2007
Today’s post marks the 300th post since I started blogging, coinciding with the last day of this year’s Nablopomo. How cool is that! (the song “I’m too sexy for..” suddenly starts in my head)
And I have completed the challenge, again. Hooray!
In these previous 299 posts contain lots of sad events and recordings, because that’s when I feel most vulnerable and need a place to make sense of it all, or at least to write it down so my head won’t burst spontaneously. There are also lots of happy posts as well but somehow I tend to have so much fun until I forget to write them down here. I’ll definitely try harder to capture the happy moments in bytes simply because I don’t want to forget about them when I’m 80 years old. I want my kids and grandkids to read what silly things I wrote, and what was mom/grandma like… Maybe by then there will be some new technology that allows one to read books and blogs or journals or whatever simply by wearing a pair of “glasses” and scroll by pushing a small tiny remote button/controller.
In the last 3+ years I have made lots of wonderful friends via sweetisu.com. I may not know what you look like, or how tall you are, or how you like your coffee, but I know your heart is good and your soul is beautiful. I’m so glad you’ve decided to hang out here time and again. Thank you!
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
I got tagged by the pretty Goofy Andie. I spent some time reading back in the archives… lots of weird things and weird writing.
*** INSTRUCTIONS: ***
1. Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given below.
2. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
3. Don’t forget to read the archived post and leave comments.
************************
Link 1 is a little bit of FAMILY: How about a little something about a growing new family member?
Link 2 is a little bit of FRIEND: Amie, after she found out she’s having a girl!
Link 3 is a little bit of YOURSELF: Wow I talk about myself a lot. How do I limit to just one link… Here are two that I wrote during last year’s Nablopomo: Part I and Part II.
Link 4 should be YOUR LOVE: How we met.
Link 5 can be ANYTHING YOU LIKE: Dos & Don’ts that I wrote nearly 2 years ago. Cancer, baby that I linked in that post has since passed away. She was 33 (if I remembered right).
As far as tagging others… who to tag?! I’m going to leave this open to everyone again. If you do wanna play along, let me know when you’re done so I can go read 
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
“World peace can be achieved; be kind. World peace starts with YOU!”
— Author: unknown.
This quote is very simple, yet very powerful.
Be kind to your friends, to your families. More often than not we hurt our loved ones the most, emotionally. We take them for granted, we say things without it really passing our brain, without realizing the what we say might hurt them. We would never say such things to people we aren’t familiar with, so why do we do that to our loved ones?
Be kind to your neighbors, to your colleagues, to workers at establishments you go to, etc. They are there in your life whether you like it or not. So why not make the best of it.
Be kind to strangers in the street, at the mall, at the corner store, anywhere. You don’t know them. They don’t know you. But you never know, they might just become an integral part of your life down the road, whether it be your personal or professional life.
Be kind, pass on a smile. It is contagious. Really it is. Say something nice; say Thanks often. Encourage others by setting good examples yourself.
People don’t have to have the same values as you do in order for you to be kind. Kindness knows no borders, no gender, no race, and no religion. Kindness is simply, kindness.
World peace might not be achieved by such simple measures, but it is a good start. This might just work.
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
We are handing the keys over to the new owners on May 7th.
We will get the keys to our new house on May 17th.
Therefore we will be homeless for 10 days. Fortunately a friend/neighbor is willing to put us up during the interim so that we won’t have to spend thousands on hotel. Hopefully it will all work out, with 4 adults and 5 children under 5 yrs old under in one household.
Meanwhile, our whole lives worth of stuff will be stored somewhere in containers/warehouse until May 23 or so (our son’s “graduation day” at preschool).
Soon! This stress will be less!
Monday, February 26th, 2007
Under the staircase storage, I found boxes upon boxes of paper. Papers from the first day of school in the US until the last day of college! That’s a lot of years. Book reports, quizzes, tests, class notes, report cards, elaborate research papers, short funny stories, mandatory journaling… on and on it goes. WHY did I keep all these crap!
Chuck’em all you say. Ah that would be very easy, except a few fancy schmancy teachers and professors along the way thought that it would be a great idea to use social security # as the ID. So I painstakingly went through several boxes of crap, crap that I don’t know how to do or understand anymore, like organic chemistry or calculus or mass transfer, just so I can keep my ssn out of the recycling bins.
I scanned through some of the papers. Throughout the years, I wrote about (breast) cancer, teen suic!de, teen pregnancy, (human) cloning, IRC. Topics that were and still are very close to my heart. In one of my “leisure elective” classes, Human Development and Family Studies (where they talked a ton about sex), I wrote down that eventually I would like to have 4 children. Yea. We’ll just have to see about that.
It’s very interesting to skim through my previous lives and see how far (or backwards, if you’re looking at the mass transfer and lab reports) I’ve come mentally. I have 2 or 3 more boxes of papers to go through before I move onto the bedrooms stuff. Ugh.
One of the remaining boxes contains all the letters I’ve received from my friends in China in the years following my family’s immigration to the US. I was unable to speak or comprehend any English. There were no other Chinese at my school. My friends back in China were lifesavers; they literally saved my sanity, having moved to a strange land on the opposite side of the globe and need to adapt immediately. I know I couldn’t and wouldn’t have gone on without them. Friends are very important, but in the teenage years, friends are all there is in life. I am wondering what I should do with all those letters.. It’s a huge file-size box full. I am still keeping touch with 2 of my friends, interestingly both of them have left China to other countries as well, and thankfully now it is communication via e-mails and phone calls instead of writing letters. My Chinese writing skills have found a permanent vacation spot somewhere else unheard of.
When I was a kid, I thought time went really slow. Now that I’m older (30! I used to think 25 was old!) the years seem to be going by faster and faster. Pretty soon we’ll all be white haired and toothless old farts looking at our school yearbooks wondering what the big fuss was all about.
Friday, January 12th, 2007
One of my most loyal readers, Amie, is expecting a baby girl this summer!!! Pregnancies are always very exciting news, but in this case, especially exciting since she’s having a girl for the first time. They have four lovely boys (yes, FOUR! I don’t know how she stays sane) and this will be their first time tying pigtails and putting on hair clips and all. So stop by and send them a big congratulations!
As I’ve said, I don’t know how she stays sane caring for four little boys. Not only that, she homeschools, sews, bakes her kids’ birthday cakes, cooks most if not all the family’s meals, have time to read blogs (and always takes the time to write comments), and from looking at her pictures, she keeps the house pretty clean on top of that. She’s a Supermom if there ever was one.
Congratulations Amie and family! Can’t wait to meet your little baby girl!!
Thursday, November 30th, 2006
Two things:
(1) I completed NaBloPoMo. Although some of the posts weren’t all that great, I did post every single day, sometimes more than once. Yay!
(2) I urge you to tell as many people about Chemo Angels as possible. Read on to find out why.
* * *
As a cancer patient, you find that you never ever dare to think the future like you did before the diagnosis came. It is very scary and overwhelming to make plans of any sort because you never know where you’d be or how you’ll be tomorrow or next week, let alone next month. The diagnosis takes away the belief that you are invincible, that Nothing Bad Will Happen To Me mentality is forever vanished; it also makes you feel like your body has betrayed you, and you are not in control anymore. But the truth is, you were never really in control. It was just an illusion. An illusion that we all as humans believe, for the purpose of self preservation.
When I was undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy treatment, I had heard about this Chemo Angel program through my online support group. Shortly thereafter I signed up as a patient. It was one of the very few things that kept me looking forward into the future. Try as you might, it is highly unlikely that you will make any sort of plans further than one week away, at least not until treatment has been completed. So really, life revolves around treatments, its schedules, and its side effects. The world becomes colorless and everything smells like the hospital.
Chemo Angels really was an angel to me, during a time when I needed something to remind myself that I’m worthy, that I’m loved, that someone cared, that there’s something positive to look forward to. A few times when I came home after a chemotherapy session, I would find a lovely card in the mail from a total stranger, and it brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. Sometimes it’s a bookmark, a small piece of candy, a drawing done by her toddler child, anything that she thought would help me forget about cancer, even if it’s just for a split second. It didn’t make the side effects more tolerable, it didn’t take away the nausea, and it didn’t stop my hair from falling out, but it did give me that few minutes of tenderness as if someone was hugging me.
Just silently hugging me and not letting go.
So, please. I ask you to consider being an Angel to someone in need of a hug or two. It does take some time and commitment to become an Angel, but the reward of knowing that what you are doing, bringing a smile to someone who’s world completely crashed is truly fulfilling. And if you know of anyone who is undergoing chemotherapy, they probably would love an Angel or two looking over them.
Cancer has touched so many peoples lives. Please please please pass on the link to everyone and anyone you know. Make the world smile a little more.
And this, wraps up my final post for NaBloPoMo. Good night.
Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
I’m glad I’m participating in NaBloPoMo. I’m learning to write better and more frequently, I’m also reading a lot of blogs that I would otherwise missed (but my house might prefer that I do without, as I’ve kind of neglected some things). I try to leave comments as I go through the Randomizer, maybe this will generate a little bit of traffic for my own blog, but more importantly, I think people love comments in general and what better way to spread a little love than typing a few short words? So ahem, if you like what you’re reading here, leave a little love won’t you? Even if it’s just to say “HI”
I went to archana’s site not long ago, browsed through a bit and realized that she is a cancer survivor herself. She is the first and only cancer survivor blog I’ve come across through the Randomizer so far. I left a short note and didn’t think much of it at the time. Turns out, she was diagnosed with the SAME type of cancer, at roughly the SAME age as I was( 23-24), had the SAME chemo regiment. HOW FUCKING WEIRD IS THAT. Another Hodgkoid.
She just finished chemo this summer and has been doing well. She just had another great CT scan that said “clear.” The battle is over for now and she has won, but the real recovery (emotionally) is going to take much much longer. I know I’m still reeling, even after 5 years of being in remission. With that, please send some love her way too and a hearty ‘congratulations’ on beating the crap out of hodgkin’s. Well done my dear and may you never have to deal with the big C ever again. Enjoy your vacation.
* Hodgkoid was what we referred to ourselves when I was an active participant of an online support group for Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
Saturday, November 18th, 2006
More than half way through NaBloPoMo and I’m stumped. What to write about? Hmm.
How about I tell you the story where I nearly got punched in the face?
It took place on a school bus. I was about 14 years old at the time, pretty fluent in English already and becoming bolder by the day. At our school (remember, this is Iowa), there were whites, blacks, a few Hispanics and quite a number of Vietnamese students. I was the only Chinese out of several hundred. Most of the time people stuck to their own ethnic groups. I had no group to belong to, so I was kind of the oddball out. I had friends of every color, except, none were really really close friends.
I used to get extremely bad motion sickness. I disliked riding the school bus as it does a lot of stop and go, picking up and dropping off students at every possible street, and it seems like I’m always the first one to get picked up and the last one to get dropped off.
One day on the way home from school, I was feeling ill and wanted some quiet so I could concentrate on imagining my happy place. Some girl sitting two rows behind me kept talking very loudly, standing up and down, waving her arms in the air etc. Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore and asked her to please turn it down because I wasn’t feeling well. OH she was upset, as NO ONE tells her what to do! She’s the queen! She was furious. She blathered all sorts of words at me, one of them hit a nerve. She called me a “chink” and told me to “shut the F up or else blah blah blah”.. I was suddenly not nauseous anymore. At this point I could care less if she was twice my size, I shouted back at her “YOU shut up n!gger.”
Yea. I said the N word. Right to her face. Very loudly.
What! She called me the C word. It’s only fair.
You should have seen the look on her face. And the faces of those around us. Everyone’s jaws dropped and looked at her, and then looked at me, waiting for the inevitable. Even the bus driver glanced worriedly in the rear view mirror. She is more than furious. She charged towards me like a bull seeing the biggest piece of red cloth. You can even see steam coming out the top of her head! Thankfully others stepped in and held her back.
I then calmly explained that she called me names first, and if she says it again, I will too. Amazingly, she understood and left me alone. It was probably the first time someone stood up to her. I think I shocked myself as much as I shocked her.
I was a legion of sorts. I stood up to the bully.
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
Thank you so so much for all your love about my last post. I’m sorry to be such a downer sometimes but I can’t help feeling the anxiety getting stronger as next week draws closer. lauranen is right though: it would be a good idea to look at the good and happy things in such light as well. May next week be good and swell with lots of laughters and celebrations, with my brother’s family who is coming here from out of town.
*****
My tongue have healed, thank goodness!!!, but my voice is gone. All this coughing and hacking doesn’t help either. Today I went to send our digital camera in for repair. So I’m at the local UPS store, whispering and mouthing my words through.
Feeling sorry for me, the woman at the counter asked if I have a job that requires a lot of talking. You know, because my voice is completely and utterly gone. To which, I answered with a whisper:
“Yes. I have two small kids.”
