Sometimes the problems and issues that come our way would smother and suffocate us, leaving us gasping for even just a tiny, small breath. It is those moments that allow us to realize how precious air and oxygen is, how we never really appreciated it until it was threatened to be taken away. Is it too late? By not really giving it much thought, does that mean we were ungrateful? Maybe just really oblivious and ignorant, just a little.
< Tangent > : Chris & John, good wishes and vibes to you every day as you trudge through these next weeks/months. < / tangent >
It was one of those times 8 years ago today. Eight years ago today (Nov 24) was Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. I had spent Thanksgiving day in bed, recovering from the first surgery I’ve ever had. Groggy and still in pain, Hubby and I went to the clinic to see why my shoulder/neck was still numb. It had been much more than 24 hrs since the anesthesia drugs were given, it was suppose to wear off in 24 hrs, and yet I didn’t feel a thing on my clavicle area. Lo and behold, this was minor in comparison to what I was about to hear, sitting by myself in this room, with this woman doctor whom I’ve never met before.
“You have lymphoma,” she said nonchalantly. Still reading the pathology results and not really making eye contact with me.
“It’s cancer. In your chest. And your neck. In the lymphatic system.”
All the while keeping her eyes on the paper without looking at me even once.
* * * * * * * *
I will forever remember the way I felt when I was alone in that room with that doctor. I flailed and reached for a gasp of air and weren’t able to get much.
Eight years later, I am breathing normally and enjoying the blue skies and sunshine, the ducks flying in the air, and the Christmas lights that line the rooftops while two little rascals hop and skip on my side.
Thank you for this second chance. I am making the best of it, for me and for others*.
* Benevolence has become my middle name.