Part II: Reach for the stars (and the stripes)

After posting Part I nearly 4 weeks ago, I’ve finally written Part II. It’s very choppy and not as well written as Part I in my opinion. Next Monday is my 18th anniversary of coming here. I think I will have a drink to celebrate it.

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Riding a Greyhound was almost like a luxury to my 12-year-old self — except I had motion sickness and was terribly uncomfortable the whole time from Chicago to eastern Iowa. What was supposed to be a 2.5 hour car ride was doubled riding a Greyhound. They stopped at pretty much every fast food place and detoured away from the major highway at all times. BUT! They had cushioned seats, heated interior, and a bathroom. A bathroom! on a bus! With a relatively clean toilet and lots of toilet paper (I will share with you my obsession over clean public toilets and abundant toilet paper in another post some other time).

When we reached my grandparents place, I was completely crushed, disappointed, and homesick. Sure, they lived better than we had been in China, but not by much and more importantly, this was NOT at all what I had imagined my new life will become. They lived in a small apartment right across from their business, right in downtown (aka bad part of town). They ate and worked at their business, and only went to the apartment to shower and sleep (they worked 7 days a week). The apartment had two bedrooms. No washer/dryer, no dishwasher, no oven, no microwave. A tiny black and white TV stood on the kitchen countertop, a small fridge and some very used furniture were all that they had.

There were 8 of us (our family of 4 and my aunt’s family of 4) joining my grandparents so there weren’t any rooms for us to sleep, let alone spaces to put our belongings etc. They didn’t have any vehicles — they didn’t need one to get to/from work as they lived precisely 45 seconds of walking distance away. They washed a lot of their clothes by hand like they used to when they were younger back in China, and what they couldn’t wash by hand they took to the laundromat 2 blocks away.

It was early December when we arrived. Everything was brown, trees were bald, streets were empty. I wanted to go back to China very badly. At least it wouldn’t be as cold (lowest temperature was about 4C where I was born), I would have my friends and I would understand what people were saying around me. And I would have decent edible food that I was used to and enjoy. I was seriously depressed. Bewildered by everything and everyone around me, but depressed nonetheless.

Us 4 kids started school in early January. My cousin “Ruby” and I were at the same elementary school while our brothers were at the same junior high school. We were all miserable. No one understood our language (we carried pocket dictionaries around so we could point to words). The school lunches were horrible — not horrible in the sense that they were not nutritious, but in that we have never had these types of western foods before. Ruby and I were in different homeroom classes, at least we had ESL together.

Fast forwarding the 6 months of pure hell in elementary school where we learned our ABC’s, days of the week, the months, the numbers, colors. You know, learning English from scratch, at age 12 and a half. My comprehension was so bad that at one point I thought a “body shop” meant something very dirty. We also got made fun of by our classmates on a daily basis without even understanding what they were saying.

Onto junior high to attend the same school with our brothers. By this time, we have made some friends, and our English were improving. a. lot. We were more confident and somewhat assimilated. We also kicked everyone’s asses in math class (we were about 4 years ahead of our peers). More learning, more adjusting, making more friends in the years to come. It was not easy, there were no other Chinese students or teacher’s aid in our school district. However, within 1-2 years, all of us were assimilated into regular classes, ESL were no longer part of our curriculum. We were all on the Honor Roll every semester until high school graduation. We didn’t have any help other than my grandparents elderly friends from time to time. Our parents also had a difficult time adjusting, even more so than us youngster because of their age. Imagine something like not knowing how to swim at all and you’re suddenly submerged in the ocean, surrounded by nothing but water and having nothing to hold onto except a tiny piece of wood. There is nothing you can do but learn to swim very very quickly (well that was a bad analogy… you get the gist of it) But no one gave up and no one went home to China. I suppose there will be a part of us that will forever be attached to our motherland.

Almost 18 years later, all 4 kids are now adults with college degrees and own our own houses. Our parents are doing relatively good financially too, having amassed some money. I think we all have made it and are living the illusive American Dream. After all, we are Americans now.