sweetisu

Two things:

(1) I completed NaBloPoMo. Although some of the posts weren’t all that great, I did post every single day, sometimes more than once. Yay!

(2) I urge you to tell as many people about Chemo Angels as possible. Read on to find out why.

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As a cancer patient, you find that you never ever dare to think the future like you did before the diagnosis came. It is very scary and overwhelming to make plans of any sort because you never know where you’d be or how you’ll be tomorrow or next week, let alone next month. The diagnosis takes away the belief that you are invincible, that Nothing Bad Will Happen To Me mentality is forever vanished; it also makes you feel like your body has betrayed you, and you are not in control anymore. But the truth is, you were never really in control. It was just an illusion. An illusion that we all as humans believe, for the purpose of self preservation.

When I was undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy treatment, I had heard about this Chemo Angel program through my online support group. Shortly thereafter I signed up as a patient. It was one of the very few things that kept me looking forward into the future. Try as you might, it is highly unlikely that you will make any sort of plans further than one week away, at least not until treatment has been completed. So really, life revolves around treatments, its schedules, and its side effects. The world becomes colorless and everything smells like the hospital.

Chemo Angels really was an angel to me, during a time when I needed something to remind myself that I’m worthy, that I’m loved, that someone cared, that there’s something positive to look forward to. A few times when I came home after a chemotherapy session, I would find a lovely card in the mail from a total stranger, and it brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. Sometimes it’s a bookmark, a small piece of candy, a drawing done by her toddler child, anything that she thought would help me forget about cancer, even if it’s just for a split second. It didn’t make the side effects more tolerable, it didn’t take away the nausea, and it didn’t stop my hair from falling out, but it did give me that few minutes of tenderness as if someone was hugging me.

Just silently hugging me and not letting go.

So, please. I ask you to consider being an Angel to someone in need of a hug or two. It does take some time and commitment to become an Angel, but the reward of knowing that what you are doing, bringing a smile to someone who’s world completely crashed is truly fulfilling. And if you know of anyone who is undergoing chemotherapy, they probably would love an Angel or two looking over them.

Cancer has touched so many peoples lives. Please please please pass on the link to everyone and anyone you know. Make the world smile a little more.

And this, wraps up my final post for NaBloPoMo. Good night.

After posting Part I nearly 4 weeks ago, I’ve finally written Part II. It’s very choppy and not as well written as Part I in my opinion. Next Monday is my 18th anniversary of coming here. I think I will have a drink to celebrate it.

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Riding a Greyhound was almost like a luxury to my 12-year-old self — except I had motion sickness and was terribly uncomfortable the whole time from Chicago to eastern Iowa. What was supposed to be a 2.5 hour car ride was doubled riding a Greyhound. They stopped at pretty much every fast food place and detoured away from the major highway at all times. BUT! They had cushioned seats, heated interior, and a bathroom. A bathroom! on a bus! With a relatively clean toilet and lots of toilet paper (I will share with you my obsession over clean public toilets and abundant toilet paper in another post some other time).

When we reached my grandparents place, I was completely crushed, disappointed, and homesick. Sure, they lived better than we had been in China, but not by much and more importantly, this was NOT at all what I had imagined my new life will become. They lived in a small apartment right across from their business, right in downtown (aka bad part of town). They ate and worked at their business, and only went to the apartment to shower and sleep (they worked 7 days a week). The apartment had two bedrooms. No washer/dryer, no dishwasher, no oven, no microwave. A tiny black and white TV stood on the kitchen countertop, a small fridge and some very used furniture were all that they had.

There were 8 of us (our family of 4 and my aunt’s family of 4) joining my grandparents so there weren’t any rooms for us to sleep, let alone spaces to put our belongings etc. They didn’t have any vehicles — they didn’t need one to get to/from work as they lived precisely 45 seconds of walking distance away. They washed a lot of their clothes by hand like they used to when they were younger back in China, and what they couldn’t wash by hand they took to the laundromat 2 blocks away.

It was early December when we arrived. Everything was brown, trees were bald, streets were empty. I wanted to go back to China very badly. At least it wouldn’t be as cold (lowest temperature was about 4C where I was born), I would have my friends and I would understand what people were saying around me. And I would have decent edible food that I was used to and enjoy. I was seriously depressed. Bewildered by everything and everyone around me, but depressed nonetheless.

Us 4 kids started school in early January. My cousin “Ruby” and I were at the same elementary school while our brothers were at the same junior high school. We were all miserable. No one understood our language (we carried pocket dictionaries around so we could point to words). The school lunches were horrible — not horrible in the sense that they were not nutritious, but in that we have never had these types of western foods before. Ruby and I were in different homeroom classes, at least we had ESL together.

Fast forwarding the 6 months of pure hell in elementary school where we learned our ABC’s, days of the week, the months, the numbers, colors. You know, learning English from scratch, at age 12 and a half. My comprehension was so bad that at one point I thought a “body shop” meant something very dirty. We also got made fun of by our classmates on a daily basis without even understanding what they were saying.

Onto junior high to attend the same school with our brothers. By this time, we have made some friends, and our English were improving. a. lot. We were more confident and somewhat assimilated. We also kicked everyone’s asses in math class (we were about 4 years ahead of our peers). More learning, more adjusting, making more friends in the years to come. It was not easy, there were no other Chinese students or teacher’s aid in our school district. However, within 1-2 years, all of us were assimilated into regular classes, ESL were no longer part of our curriculum. We were all on the Honor Roll every semester until high school graduation. We didn’t have any help other than my grandparents elderly friends from time to time. Our parents also had a difficult time adjusting, even more so than us youngster because of their age. Imagine something like not knowing how to swim at all and you’re suddenly submerged in the ocean, surrounded by nothing but water and having nothing to hold onto except a tiny piece of wood. There is nothing you can do but learn to swim very very quickly (well that was a bad analogy… you get the gist of it) But no one gave up and no one went home to China. I suppose there will be a part of us that will forever be attached to our motherland.

Almost 18 years later, all 4 kids are now adults with college degrees and own our own houses. Our parents are doing relatively good financially too, having amassed some money. I think we all have made it and are living the illusive American Dream. After all, we are Americans now.

This is unbelievable. I can’t even imagine the pain the family must endure now, and forever. Policemen are supposed to protect, not harm. We’re paying their salaries, we put our trust in them to keep the streets safe, and we count on them to keep the bad guys locked up, not be the bad guys.

It’s almost 1 a.m. right now. More on this when I am less drowsy.

Tomorrow I will pst Part II to my Hillbilly story. I promise. Meanwhile, I have some ranting to do.

< rant >

When you share the roof with someone (specifically my brother, his wife and their 2 children in this instance), and you have absolutely opposite parenting styles like night and day, it can lead to a lot of stressful moments. There is also very little you can do or say, because who are you to tell them how to parent their own child/ren. Of course, if they are harming their child/ren physically or emotionally, then you certainly have the right to say and do something. In fact, I think you are obligated to as a fellow parent. Otherwise, you’ll be just a loud mouth who should keep your traps shut.

Sigh. Maybe I will come up with something constructive that doesn’t sound so … judgemental. It is so hard not to be, if you know the whole situation . . . And the children will benefit, everyone will benefit, if there are ‘improvements’ implemented.

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The other thing is, people! Stop with the DS and DD and DH etc. already!!! It’s super annoying. They have a name. If you don’t want to use their name publicly, then make one up. Otherwise type it out! Son. Daughter. Husband. It’s that simple!!! Gah.

< / rant >

It rained here last night, for hours, and it didn’t freeze. This has to be the strangest November weather in a long time. I mean, this is Minnesota. We’re suppose to get snow and ice and sleet, not rain. It’s still cold, but damp and wet sort of cold. Cloudy and Grey. Almost like England, as if I’ve ever been to England and know what the hell I’m talking about.

I’m out of things to say today. When someone talks about the weather and nothing else, like at a gathering / party, that means they don’t have anything else interesting to share. I’m one of those people today. How tragic.

What do you talk about, at parties and gatherings where you’ve never met the people before, like at a spouses’ company function? Do you hold the wine glass and walk around until someone talks to you, or do you take the initiative to strike up conversations?

I’m the one holding a cup of soda, wandering around, and talking about weather. That’s me. Very easy to spot.

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** Not sure how I fell into this funk, but I don’t like it and will try to come out of it very soon.

Desperate Housewives spoiler

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coming

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up

Wait. Alma is alive. Monique isn’t. Art’s sister died and then he said those things to Lynnette. SO, did Orson’s mom and Alma killed Monique together and framed Mike? And then Orson thought Mike really did kill Monique and that’s why he ran him over with the car (in the last season)? But why did the parrot say “no Orson, no Orson”, inmitating Alma’s voice? These twists are too much - I want to know the ending already. Then there’s Art - is this going to be the end of his character on the show? I hope so.

Speaking of taking characters off the show, what happened to the Applewhites? And then there’s Zach (and Paul) . . . is that the end of them?

That Susan is a yo-yo huh. I don’t think she will stay with Ian. Poor Ian. What a catch he is, too.

What do you think of it so far?

There’s no previews for next week. I’m assuming there aren’t going to be any new shows until… Janaury? Like last year?? Gah that’s a long while to wait.

But I think the bad spell is now officially broken. It is 6:30 p.m. Nov 25 and nothing bad has happened this week thus far. I’m too afraid to celebrate yet, though I suspect the coming year(s) will be under a whole different sky (BLUE! and hopefully warm). I’ve been holding my breath all week and now it feels good to know all is going ot be well. The only thing off is, a section of my right boob’s milk duct is clogged. Nothing a few massages and heating pad can’t fix.

Sigh of relief.

Tomorrow will be a lazy Sunday with some house cleaning to do. I’m off to bed soon. Very tired.

We joined in the thousands of shoppers in a frenzy today. I know, it wasn’t the smartest thing to do. My brother’s family lives in a smaller city and they don’t have a Costco, nor do they have an IKEA, and they’ll be leaving tomorrow, so we took them to those stores for a look-see.

As one can never just do a look-see at IKEA, we were there for an ungodly 5 hours. FIVE HOURS. Granted, they just moved to a new house and need to get stuff; also this particular IKEA just have the worst floor plan ever. Seriously. The store is in the shape of an H, there’s only one set of elevators and only one bathroom on each floor and it is near the elevator. So if you’re in one corner of the H and you have a toddler who needs to go, good luck. Also, because of the layout, one must go round and round in a super maze just to get that one item. Anyhow, five HOURS is still a long time. Now our legs and feet are suffering.

I’m going to have some IKEA lingonberry cheesecake as a reward. Mmm.

I’m so full up to my gills at the moment. I’m typing with my laptop and lying down in a 45 degree angle. I think I’ll go to sleep soon. But before I do that, I shall watch tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy. The preview promises a very thrilling episode.

I spent most of today in the kitchen prepping my first homemade Thanksgiving dinner. I made a turkey using this recipe, cranberry sauce (I can’t find the link for the recipe! Agh!), gravy using the turkey juice from the pan, mashed sweet potato. For dessert, green tea and ice cream bars.

Cranberry sauce ingredients:
1 packet cranberries
brown sugar
orange zest
orange juice
brown sugar
ground cinnamon
some thicken agent

Mashed potato ingredients:
sweet potato, boiled and mashed
half & half
brown sugar

My brother’s family is here. Four kids, four adults filling this small house. There hasn’t been a dull moment since they arrived, and hardly any little beings were clinging to my legs most of the day. It’s wonderful. I’m very glad that they can come and spend this holiday with us. I wish we lived closer to each other.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Cheers.

It’s been 3 weeks of NaBloPoMo. I’ve been faithfully posting at least something everyday. Some are more interesting than others, but I haven’t talked about dryer lint yet, so there’s hope that I will be able to finish the challenge.

Now the prizes. I have never ever ever won anything in my life. Ever. Couple of weekends ago I went to a presentation with a friend, and they were giving away prizes. My friend won something (her raffle # was 95) even though it was something small. The grand prize — a $250 dollar suitcase — was won by someone holding raffle ticket #98. My number? 97. Damnit. Similar thing happened in my senior year Prom. Damnit. I’m just not lucky like that. Damnit. So I would be very surprised, pleasantly of course, if I do win anything from NaBloPoMo.

It’s still good for me to write though, seeing how for most of the last 2 years my brain has been pretty much occupied by laundry, dishes, cooking, poopy diapers, and all the things that babies do and say.

Before you read the meme below, I just realized I have talked just about every role in my subtitle, except the “wife” role. Interesting. I’ll have to recitify that soon. And now for your enjoyment of some useless info about me, I present you a meme that I stole from another blog who’s URL I failed to copy down.

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1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
I’m not sure I want to relive the trauma and drama. Could we skip to question 2 please?

2. When was the last time you shaved?
Two days ago, on Monday.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Asking the older kid for the 200th time to please eat his breakfast.

4. Are you any good at math?
Yes. But haven’t done much besides additions and subtractions.

5. Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
That I didn’t even get a kiss good night. I went with a guy friend who also didn’t have a date. And all the raffle tickets around my number won something, except mine.

6. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Yes. He wrote a book, and still practices acupuncture in San Francisco today. He is over 100 years old! He’s my great grandfather’s brother. Unfortunately my great grandfather passed away much too young at 39 years old.

7. Have you had to take a loan out for school?
No. I had quite a few scholarships. I also worked part time jobs to make a few extra bucks for those $$$ engineering books.

8. Last thing received in the mail?
Junk mail.

9. How many different beverages have you had today?
Water and orange juice. I’m boring.

10. Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machines?
Sometimes I do, but I don’t like to.

11. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Billy Joel baby!

12. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Couple of times.

13. What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve ever had?
Root canal. *shudders*

14. What is out your back door?
Huh? My butt? You’re kidding.
Ah, our house has a walk-out basement. It’s a huge yard with 1+ acres of rolling hills. Literally a big pain in the back side to maintain.

15. Any plans for Friday night?
My brother’s family will be here. So who knows! But we’ll probably stay home, seeing how there’ll be 4 kids under 6.

16. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
No.

17. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
No. But I’ve bought them myself. When it was on sale for like $2 (after a major holiday or something).

18. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
No.

19. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Of course. Why wouldn’t anyone do that??? My house is not a hotel.

20. Some things you are excited about?
Our little girl’s walking progress. Thanksgiving with my brother’s family. The basement is finally getting de-cluttered.

21. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
No Jello for me please.

22. Describe your keychain.
A few “membership” card thingies such as Borders, the local gas station, a Chinese coin, the car remote.

23. Where do you keep your change?
I don’t carry cash. I’m plastic girl all the way.

24. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
That’s the kind of thing I try really hard to avoid. It’s been so long that I can’t remember.

25. What kind of winter coat do you own?
A sports jacket, lined with fleece and water resistant outer shell that was bought in the Boy’s section in the department store. It was cheap. And it fits me! And it doesn’t have glitters on it. I also own at least 5 other winter coats but they have sort of retired to the boxes for now.

26. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Bright sunshine for both high school and college graduation days. Great memories.

27. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open. Our older kid often come and crawls into our bed in the middle of the night.