Have I healed without me even noticing it? Have I become whole again? Or is it just a trick of Time, making everything a little fuzzy and distant.

This year, October 2nd came and went without any tears. I certainly have not forgotten my baby. Everyday when I look in the backyard over to the big cedar tree, I remember the sweetness of the tiny baby that was and could have been. I remember the burial day vividly. But the rawness of the pain is no longer intense and often absent as well.

Is it wrong of me not to have done something on the anniversary? Is it wrong to only remember it some 3 weeks later? I feel as though I have betrayed the baby. After all, nothing is left of him/her except what is in my mind and heart.

Fly high baby. Be happy. You are loved very very much.