I promise this isn’t a heavy post. There is actually a funny story at the end. But I thought it’d be nice to provide some background info.

I’m not religious in any way. My parents and pretty much everyone on my side of the family believes in the Chinese way of Buddhism, which to me translates as observing certain holidays, perform sacrificial rituals for ancestors during specific days/times, praying to strange idols/statues, and believing in certain superstitious stuff. I’m not sure what else is involved, and as much as it displeases my Mom, I just don’t want to learn it. The whole incense and paper money burning thing is just too weird.

My husband’s side of the family is more of the biblical type. Anglican, Catholics, and some other varieties of Christianity. I’ve not been to more than a dozen services. I often find myself very bored and sleepy at church. Much to my parents-in-laws’ disappointment, I am content with not converting to their religion. Or any religion. Luckily Hubby is perfectly fine with that arrangement.

So anyway. No religions for me. I realize and respect that there are others who thinks otherwise. And some who thinks there is a special place reserved for people just like me (that, I don’t respect). But IMO, people can believe whatever they wish to believe, it’s all cool with me; it’s just not for me.

It’s always a strange feeling when people ask what my religion is, and I have to say none. It sounds like I’m in No Mans Land. And then I feel obligated to reciprocate the question of what is yours?

So anyway. Many years ago I was chatting with a group of friends. In Mandarin (not my strongest Chinese dialect). And religion came up. Most of them belonged in some type of organized religion. There was a girl sitting next to me, kind of quiet and wasn’t saying much. A-ha. Another none-believer. I leaned over and whishpered to her “do you believe in religions?”

She bursted out laughing, with tears in her eyes! I was bewildered. What! I wished I hadn’t asked her anything.

After what seemed like a two-hour laugh-a-thon and a roomful of roaring laughter, she cheekily said “well, I have had intercourse. But I don’t think that is what you intended to ask me.”

Yikes!

Turns out, my question to her was actually “do you have intercourse” and not “do you believe in religions” !!!!! It was all because of ONE wrongly used intonation. It was a disaster. From that day on, I am always reluctant to say much in Mandarin, or religion. Or religion in Mandarin.