Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
Our usual routine during naps (and night time) includes singing a couple of songs before tucking Seb into bed. And because he’s a 3-year-old, the songs has to be in specific order and they have to be certain ones that HE choose. If I stray from said pattern, then be prepared to suffer the wrath and tantrum to follow. For a long while, this has worked pretty well. He gets his naps in, and I get some time off to breath and maybe go to the bathroom in peace. But lately I have to go into his room several times AFTER I obey stringent orders (to sing) before he will actually go to sleep. And even then, there are times when I have to use threats to get him to take a nap.
I think the inevitable is near. He is almost done with afternoon naps. Crap.
Thing is, I’m fine with it if he doesn’t nap. What I’m NOT fine with is, if he DOESN’T nap, then by dinnertime he’s usually a total mess (he rises for the day around 5 or 6a.m. - NOT kidding - and therefore he really should take a nap). Whining and bursting into tears every few minutes, at nothing and no one in particular — typical 3yr old behavior but amplified 1000x. Anything and everything I do / say can trigger it. It is downright annoying and difficult not to lose my patience.
If you have any insights as to what to do during these transitional weeks/months, I would greatly appreciate it. Even if you don’t, I don’t mind if you whine along with me and share your experiences about toddler and nap time.
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
Halloween is here! Have you bought/ made all your costumes yet? The pumpkins all carved and decorated? Loads of candies to give out?
For as long as I can remember since we moved here nearly 18 years ago, the weather on Halloween is always crappy and not good for going Trick or Treat at all (my brother and I never went — a story in and of itself). It’s usually very cold, and often times wet as well (rain kind of wet, not snow). Just look at this year, for instance. Yesterday it was a nice balmy 60F! I was wearing a short sleeved sweater top and we were playing at the park. Not kidding! Today the temperature is hovering around 35F and the wind is so strong it can blow my 105 lb self away any minute. WTF is up with that?!
Never mind. All the children still dress up and go happily door to door Trick or Treating, because candy is still to be had. Anything for candy. And chocalate! All the college parties are still on and weird and wild costumes to be seen everywhere on campus. Do college students need excuses for partying? I think not.
Happy Halloween everyone. Eat as much candy as you wish - there is no better excuse than “well we had so much leftover and I didn’t want them to go to waste.” Be sure to stay warm.
***Updated*** When I took the kids out to Trick or Treat, the temperature was 27F and the weather site says “feels like 22F” Yikes.
Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
Have I healed without me even noticing it? Have I become whole again? Or is it just a trick of Time, making everything a little fuzzy and distant.
This year, October 2nd came and went without any tears. I certainly have not forgotten my baby. Everyday when I look in the backyard over to the big cedar tree, I remember the sweetness of the tiny baby that was and could have been. I remember the burial day vividly. But the rawness of the pain is no longer intense and often absent as well.
Is it wrong of me not to have done something on the anniversary? Is it wrong to only remember it some 3 weeks later? I feel as though I have betrayed the baby. After all, nothing is left of him/her except what is in my mind and heart.
Fly high baby. Be happy. You are loved very very much.
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
I knew it. I keep telling hubby. I’m one in a million. Really!!! Or, rather, 3 million. 
Wordpress didn’t let me put in the html codes from that page. Here’s what it’s supposed to look like, except mine would say “0″ instead. Thanks E.M.!
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
Have you ever noticed most souvenir shops typically only carry tops (t-shirts, sweatshirts, hats, etc.), and rarely bottoms (pants, shorts, skirts, etc.), if at all? WHY is that?! What if someone, for whatever reason, need to have a change of clothes? Sure, you can get a t-shirt. But if you spilled soda on your pants making you look like your bladder took a vacation too, sorry buddy! No pants available here! You gotta get out of the touristy area and go to an actual store to get one.
Saturday, October 21st, 2006
Couple of weekends ago we went to an apple orchard. We went to the same one last year and I couldn’t help but think of how much can happen in one short year, and how much we miss having grandparents play with the kids.
We picked apples, rode hayrides on a tractor (made in 1948!), petted animals (the kids, not me), had $4 brats and $2 soda/water, watched magic shows, and frolicked in the pumpkin field. It was really nice. The weather couldn’t be nicer, a rare occurence during this time of year, at 75F or more.
The kids fell asleep as we started driving home.
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
I promise this isn’t a heavy post. There is actually a funny story at the end. But I thought it’d be nice to provide some background info.
I’m not religious in any way. My parents and pretty much everyone on my side of the family believes in the Chinese way of Buddhism, which to me translates as observing certain holidays, perform sacrificial rituals for ancestors during specific days/times, praying to strange idols/statues, and believing in certain superstitious stuff. I’m not sure what else is involved, and as much as it displeases my Mom, I just don’t want to learn it. The whole incense and paper money burning thing is just too weird.
My husband’s side of the family is more of the biblical type. Anglican, Catholics, and some other varieties of Christianity. I’ve not been to more than a dozen services. I often find myself very bored and sleepy at church. Much to my parents-in-laws’ disappointment, I am content with not converting to their religion. Or any religion. Luckily Hubby is perfectly fine with that arrangement.
So anyway. No religions for me. I realize and respect that there are others who thinks otherwise. And some who thinks there is a special place reserved for people just like me (that, I don’t respect). But IMO, people can believe whatever they wish to believe, it’s all cool with me; it’s just not for me.
It’s always a strange feeling when people ask what my religion is, and I have to say none. It sounds like I’m in No Mans Land. And then I feel obligated to reciprocate the question of what is yours?
So anyway. Many years ago I was chatting with a group of friends. In Mandarin (not my strongest Chinese dialect). And religion came up. Most of them belonged in some type of organized religion. There was a girl sitting next to me, kind of quiet and wasn’t saying much. A-ha. Another none-believer. I leaned over and whishpered to her “do you believe in religions?”
She bursted out laughing, with tears in her eyes! I was bewildered. What! I wished I hadn’t asked her anything.
After what seemed like a two-hour laugh-a-thon and a roomful of roaring laughter, she cheekily said “well, I have had intercourse. But I don’t think that is what you intended to ask me.”
Yikes!
Turns out, my question to her was actually “do you have intercourse” and not “do you believe in religions” !!!!! It was all because of ONE wrongly used intonation. It was a disaster. From that day on, I am always reluctant to say much in Mandarin, or religion. Or religion in Mandarin.
Sunday, October 15th, 2006
Our preschool has a drive-thru for dropoffs and pickups. It’s absolutely a lifesavers sometimes, well, almost all the time. I love it! Both of our kids are extremely early risers. More often than not, the younger one is napping soundly by the time we reach the school even though it is not that far away. It is so helpful not to have to leave her in the locked car (gasp!) while I run him in, or wake her up and screw up her naps.
Hubby tells me that someone at his work said something to the affect of “cold hearted mama” because I like this drive-thru thing and actually uses it like all the other moms. Of course, this was when she only had one child. Her second child was born very recently and she’s still on maternity leave. I wonder if she will be singing a different tune once she returns to work and must do drop offs at two different places.
Saturday, October 14th, 2006
Today I took off with a girl friend of mine and was away from the children for 3.5 hours. They were with their father. It was the first time in a very very long time that I’m away from both kids. In fact, I don’t even recall when the last time was when something like that happened. It felt nice.
But I was worried to death half of the time. I kept checking the time and thinking about them. Would they nap for their dad? Would they finish eating their lunch? Would he be going crazy and not let me do it again? Should I call and check up on them? I think I should. No, I shouldn’t because then I will sound like I’m nagging and doesn’t trust their own dad. But I want to know what they are up to right now, how they are doing/coping without Mama.
Oh dear. Was this really a good idea?!
Well, I came home 3.5 hours later to find one kid already napping, and the other one waiting for Mama’s milk before she will go down for her nap. All in all, it went perfectly fine. I worried for nothing!
Maybe it will get easier next time.
And I should drive next time. Being the one behind the wheel most if not all of the time, I found myself feeling slightly nauseous* and getting white knuckles sitting on the passenger seat. Oh where did we go?! To a seminar that’s what. Next time I should plan on something nice and relaxing and doesn’t require a lot of thought.
* There is another story to tell about nausea / motion sickness. I’ll save that for another day.
Thursday, October 12th, 2006
Fiona took her first steps yesterday! It was amazing!!! Exciting! Thrilling! Heartwarming! I was/am so proud of her! I almost cried! Made me want to have another one! (OK that one was not true)
I’ll give exclaimation point a rest now.
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
We went to pick ginkgo seeds this past weekend. A lot of the seeds were still on the tree and haven’t fallen to the ground yet. We still got a good pound or two though. After squishing and washing away the extremely smelly outer layer/flesh, the seeds are now sitting on a cardboard box drying.
Ginkgo seeds are purportedly good for you. It’s natural and full of nutritional and medicinal value. Ginkgo trees are one of the oldest trees on earth. Though only the female trees bear any fruit, while the male just stand there and look pretty. It’s hard to miss a ginkgo tree (its leaves are like a fan-shape), although it can take some time before you can locate a female tree. A lot of people choose to plant the male tree to avoid having to deal with the smelly fruits.
I got quite a few stares, while I was fully gloved, holding a plastic bag, and squatting, scooting along covering inches of ground searching for the yellow fruit among the gazillion leaves. It’s not a pretty sight to be sure. But the seeds are oh so good (must be de-shelled and cooked).
* Ginkgo seeds can be used in making soup, porridge, or dessert. I mostly boil them, like beans.
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
Yesterday’s high: 52F
Today’s high: 34F
It’s snowing right now. Well, flurries, but it is snow nonetheless. The first of many many to come I’m sure. Brace yourselves for the upcoming frozen tundra months.
Whatever happened to autumn?!
Friday, October 6th, 2006
My Apple is back. Yay!
I’ve missed you so baby.
