Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
Bunched Knickers
Another week has gone by. Fiona is 6 weeks old today. She responds to our talking and cooing by smiling back and making funny shapes with her mouth, as if attempting to talk with us. She loves to interact with us and wants to play all the time. She makes these shouting sounds when she’s been left alone for a little while and is probably wondering where everyone went.
She did not have the 5th week growth spurt that “they” talk about, “they” being the experts and all. At least I did not feel as though she demanded more food than usual. Maybe her growth spurt is just a tad behind “normal” schedule.
Speaking of breastfeeding, boy do I have something to share with you. We went shopping at one of the local malls today (there are tons of malls here, including the huge Mall of Amer!ca) and it was time to feed Fiona. I found the closest bench, sat down, and started minding our own business, all the while doing some people-watching. It’s fascinating to just sit and watch the world go by. Yes I’m that easily entertained. Anyhow, this woman started walking towards us. She is probably in her 70’s, fashioning white hair and a cane. She resembles the friendly neighborhood grandma, except her face looks slightly off / cranky’ish. She ensured eye contact with me and then gestured to a bathroom about 30 feet away and said,
“you know, there’s chairs for you to do that [breastfeeding] in there…”
I just looked at her. Without expressions of any sort.
“you can do that in there… so you won’t feel so ashamed …”
Yes that’s exactly the word she used. ASHAMED. I was so shocked that all I could come up with was “no I’m not ashamed; I’m fine right here…” even said it with a big smile. She walked away seemingly unhappy that she couldn’t convince me to hide in the bathroom while feeding my daughter. How rude. And what a grouch. I should have flashed her with some boob’age or said something more clever, like oh don’t get your knickers in a bunch madam, breastfeeding isn’t taboo and I shouldn’t have to hide in the bathroom just because you have a problem with it! But I’m never the type to have a quick comeback… what a shame. 
All of you have such a way with words. What would you say if someone “suggests” that you need to hide your breastfeeding away from the world? I have a feeling that I should arm myself with clever retorts, as there are probably many more of her type out there.
on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 at 8:26 am:
You know until all these people who tell breast feeding women to nurse in the bathroom start taking there meals in the bathroom they should really shut up.
on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 at 9:49 am:
I personally think your reply was just fine. After all, sometimes it’s better to ‘kill them with kindness.’ Plus, it doesn’t lower you to their level, i.e., inconsiderate dumb asses.
on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 at 12:13 pm:
I would of said something like “Ashamed? To feed my baby??” You handled that with much more grace than I would of!
on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 at 2:45 pm:
I agree with Amie- you handled that pretty gracefully.
I tend to not handle it so gracefully. While killing them with kindness is probably best, I have started to just tell people to go @#%%&% themselves. In not much nicer words than that. I do dislike sinking to that, but I have had it with people sticking their noses where they don’t belong.
They usually don’t know how to respond when I demand to know why they were looking at my chest in the first place.
on Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 at 2:43 pm:
What a stupid old twat. Next time point out that you are sure they don’t eat their meals in the bathroom so you don’t plan on feeding your daughter in there either…either that or just tell them to FUCK OFF!
Grrr…attitudes like that old bat’s make me mad.
on Monday, October 24th, 2005 at 10:34 pm:
I’m with everyone else here. Kill ‘em with kindness. Pretending that she wasn’t being an ass and was just making a helpful suggestion which you politely refused was beautiful. But if you’re feeling particularly snippy one day when some other asshole decides to say something (terrible that it’s not if, it’s when) go with the “Do YOU eat in the toliet?” line. That should shut them up. If not, follow up with the “And why are you staring at my chest?” If that doesn’t get ‘em, just tell them to fuck off.
on Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 at 7:21 am:
Since the old bat was obviously shitting her pants, maybe she was the one that needed to find a seat in the restroom! Maybe next time you could counter with a question,”Why exactly would that be a good idea?” or “Why does this make you feel uncomfortable?”
on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 at 5:31 pm:
Laura stole my thunder. Though I’m just a dad, I would kibitz to suggest: “If you think the bathroom is a good place to eat, I’m definitely not taking advice from you.”