sweetisu

Another week has gone by. Fiona is 6 weeks old today. She responds to our talking and cooing by smiling back and making funny shapes with her mouth, as if attempting to talk with us. She loves to interact with us and wants to play all the time. She makes these shouting sounds when she’s been left alone for a little while and is probably wondering where everyone went.

She did not have the 5th week growth spurt that “they” talk about, “they” being the experts and all. At least I did not feel as though she demanded more food than usual. Maybe her growth spurt is just a tad behind “normal” schedule.

Speaking of breastfeeding, boy do I have something to share with you. We went shopping at one of the local malls today (there are tons of malls here, including the huge Mall of Amer!ca) and it was time to feed Fiona. I found the closest bench, sat down, and started minding our own business, all the while doing some people-watching. It’s fascinating to just sit and watch the world go by. Yes I’m that easily entertained. Anyhow, this woman started walking towards us. She is probably in her 70’s, fashioning white hair and a cane. She resembles the friendly neighborhood grandma, except her face looks slightly off / cranky’ish. She ensured eye contact with me and then gestured to a bathroom about 30 feet away and said,

“you know, there’s chairs for you to do that [breastfeeding] in there…”

I just looked at her. Without expressions of any sort.

“you can do that in there… so you won’t feel so ashamed …”

Yes that’s exactly the word she used. ASHAMED. I was so shocked that all I could come up with was “no I’m not ashamed; I’m fine right here…” even said it with a big smile. She walked away seemingly unhappy that she couldn’t convince me to hide in the bathroom while feeding my daughter. How rude. And what a grouch. I should have flashed her with some boob’age or said something more clever, like oh don’t get your knickers in a bunch madam, breastfeeding isn’t taboo and I shouldn’t have to hide in the bathroom just because you have a problem with it! But I’m never the type to have a quick comeback… what a shame.
All of you have such a way with words. What would you say if someone “suggests” that you need to hide your breastfeeding away from the world? I have a feeling that I should arm myself with clever retorts, as there are probably many more of her type out there.

Fiona turned 5 weeks old yesterday. It doesn’t seem that long ago when I started having contractions. At the same time, it seems as if she’s been here for a long while and I’ve known her all along. Although it has not been extremely difficult, we did have a few bumps along the way, some I’ve mentioned in a previous post and some we are still working to resolve.

She still has her day/night backwards - tough on Mama as in-laws don’t do night duty.

Yesterday we went to see the doctor. She weighed in at 10 lb 4.5 oz. Doctor did not tell us what percentile that is, but I think gaining almost 3 lbs in 5 weeks is pretty good. Especially with the way that she’s vomiting at least once a day. We did get some Zant@c for her so hopefully that will help with the acid reflux, if indeed that is what she has. Her symptoms all point to reflux. We also got some new meds for her thrush. The old med Nystat!n just doesn’t do the job. I mean, I’m suppose to give her some of it to swoosh/rinse, plus wipe her tongue with it after a feeding. Four times a day. For 10 days. The problem that presents are obvious. Firstly, she does not know how to swoosh therefore she’s just swallowing it. Secondly, wiping her tongue is harder than climbing Everest because her mouth is so tiny and the meds aren’t very effective if you don’t wipe all of the affected area. Lastly, applying FOUR times a day, for 10 DAYS just isn’t gonna fly with her inclination to vomit/spit up. Whoever came up with this as the first line of defense for infants with thrush should be shot. They obviously have not tried to rub it on a 6-day old’s tongue (yes, Fiona was diagnosed with thrush at 6 days old… at the ER. Long vent. I’ll spare you the details.)

Sebastian, our son, has hit the peaks of Terrible Two. Or at least I hope he has, because I’m totally out of patience. TT is the pits. “I want the ketchup here!!!” he says. “No! HERE!!!”, he demands. So I put it where he wants it. And then he goes “NOOOOOOOOO. HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”, and proceeds to bawl and howl, pointing to the exact spot where I had already put ketchup. And does not stop until 5-15 minutes later, without regard to what I do or say to him (which he is fully capable of understanding but refuses to). WTF?!?!?! And that’s just one tiny example. I need to recharge. But then he says “I love you, too, Mama” and hugs/kisses you at some point and all you can think of is “how the heck can you be mad at this child? what kind of mother are you!” Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

Presenting Miss Fiona

She loves making the “o” face at us when we talk to her

and sticking out her tongue at times

She loves to sleep with her arms in this position

I’m watching my beautiful Fiona sleeping peacefully right next to me, and simultaneously thinking of what happened one year ago today.

For once, I’m at a lost for words to describe my emotions. Perhaps, there are no adequate words for these type of feelings.

Sweet baby, Mama has not, and will not ever ever forget you. There has not been many days that I don’t think about you. Sending you all my love my sweet pea.

Apologies to everyone who keeps checking in for pictures or the birth story, or both. I just haven’t had the time or energy or coherency to write much. But I promise to have pictures soon, and maybe the birth story as well. Meanwhile, here are some blabbering I wrote throughout the last couple of weeks.

Having cared for our son for the last 2 years, you’d think that I would know a thing or two about taking care of babies. Well, you can chuck that theory out the window right now.

You see, every baby is different. They have their own personalities right from the get go. There are no manuals, no one-size-fits-all instruction/procedure to caring for a baby. Methods that worked before, might not work so well the next time around. Things that you thought you knew, could very well be proven otherwise.

My milk came in the very next morning after Fiona was born. It took about 24 hours or so. I was pleased, as it took more than twice the time when our son was born and he had major latching difficulties on top of it. Fiona is a good latcher which is a definite plus. However, she has this thing where if I switch her to the other boob during a session, she totally refuses to latch again until the next feeding. So I have to let her drain one boob and suffer the engorgement on the other boob in the meantime. I vaguely remember what engorgement felt like, and I do not like it one bit. I don’t want to pump, because that will only increase the supply even more. Pumping provides very temporary relief. After a few days of feeling like my boobs will explode every couple of hours, I called a local LLL member. She mentioned that (extreme) engorgement is normal, however, it shouldn’t last more than a couple of days. So I’m not normal - what else is new. She suggested that I try nursing Fiona more often (no go, as she refuses to latch on again after she feeds on one side). OR, pump a little bit to relieve the engorgement pain and not an ounce more. OR, try cabbage leaves, in your bra, she says. So I set out what to be one of the first trips post-delivery to the grocery store to pick up a cabbage. Immediately. If you had doubts whether it works or not, doubt no more. It certainly does work. Although I must say it’s not very appealing, and you wouldn’t want to go out with vegetables stuffed in your bra (especially if you will be nursing while you’re out). But it does makes the pain much more tolerable without reducing the swelling.

If you’re ever in need of using it, don’t forget to cut a little hole in the middle so the nipples can have some room to breathe.

We still have to resolve the issue of draining one boob at a time thing. I suppose as she grows she will want to eat more, and it will resolve itself with time. Maybe. Hopefully.

So onto the other thing. While I was changing Fiona’s diaper on our bed one night — room is too small to put another flat surface thing for a changing mat — she poops, precisely at the very moment when I lift up her rump to slide the new diaper underneath. Got the image? My left hand holding her rump, my right hand almost underneath her butt holding a new diaper. OK. Newborn who are breastfed have poops that are watery, yellow, seedy. And in many cases, mucousy as well because they swallowed a lot of gunk while in-utero. So she poops out this newborn stuff, with her rump in midair, making a very dangerous and almost lethal projectile. This was a first-time experience for me as our son never attempted the poop projectile. She must have been so proud of the reaction she received, because she did it again - with a pee performance. Luckily my face escaped both incidences, but I can’t say the same for the rest of my body. Yes, very lovely indeed.

Another issue that has came up a week or so ago. She spits / vomits a whole feeding’s worth of milk at least once a day. She seems to be gaining weight - what with all the poop and pee - and she doesn’t appear to be sick. She burps fine and eats well the rest of the day. She sleeps fairly well also. It puzzles and worries me greatly, not to mention the amount of laundry I must deal with. My sister-in-law said their baby girl also did the same thing, while their boy did not (just like our two kids). She offers some suggestions as to why, but no advice on how to fix it. My niece outgrew it once she got older. Should I be alarmed that something might be wrong? Should I call the peds ASAP?!

Each time it’s a new learning experience. Each time I feel like an overwhelmed new mom. Each time I feel my heart expands a little bigger and my love multiplies exponentially. And my ribcage and tummy expand right along each time, requiring possibly an entire new wardrobe.