Saturday, July 30th, 2005
Once upon a time, a policeman rang up our house (on the phone) and demanded to know what we were doing to our son. He was not very clear in the questioning at first, and I was both puzzled and suspicious of whether he was actually a policeman or an impostor who has too much time on his hands and doing prank calls for fun.
Come to find out, someone had called the cops on us. For possible child abuse. Yeap.
I had taken some digital pictures of our baby son’s (naked) back/buttock and decided I wanted hard copies. So I took them to a Member Discount Club to develop. Are they suppose to be looking at people’s pictures at those photo places? Anyhow, they did. And called the cops. It’s not the nudity that set them off, no sireeeee. It’s the Mongolian Spots.
You say, “Mongo . . . what???”
Mongolian Spots. Our son has them. Lots and lots and lots of them (although not as bad and not as dark as some of the photos in a link below). So much so that my own mother said she’s never seen it so widespread on anyone, and my friend jokingly commented that I didn’t need to mark my baby’s (territory) to that extent. Mongolian spots is a skin pigmentation that is very common in Asian, Hispanic, and Black babies (not as visible/noticeable on Black babies). Although it is much more rare, it can also happen to Caucasian babies as well. For most children with Mongolian spots, it’s usually on the lower back/buttock area and is usually a small spot or two only. And the pigmentation will fade away completely as the children grow older. However, our son’s is so widespread that I doubt it will ever go away completely. Some of the spots may fade, such as the ones on his wrists and ankles have already started to become less noticeable. For the most part though, I think it will be part of his beautiful body for the rest of his life. But just in case they will vanish with time/age, I wanted a photo of it for keepsake.
As you can see from some sample pictures on the internet, they do resemble very very much like abusive bruises inflicted upon the child. We live in the midwest where it’s starting to be more ethnically diverse, but it’s still not to the point of where everyone know about these strange ‘birthmarks’. For those of you adopting Asian or Hispanic babies, this may or may not be a shock at first for you if your daughter/son have these spots, but certainly it will be an issue you have to deal with when other (uninformed) people are involved.
Anyway, so when I finally figured out it was the pictures I took that prompted the police call, I informed the kind sergeant that those “bruises” are in fact our son’s Mongolian Spots, not bruises. For verification, he needed to speak to our pediatrician. He told me in his 15 years of service, there was only one other case of Mongolian Spots (that was mistaken for child abuse) reported in the city that we live in. Well, at least he’s heard of it before. Anyway, it got resolved. And I did not go to jail, but we became known as “blue butt” at the pediatrician’s office.
From that point on, I realized not a whole lot of people are aware of this physical phenomenon. If I think someone might remotely have the opportunity to see our son’s naked back/buttock for whatever reason, I tell them beforehand in case they secretly think I’m a child abuser and report me. I foresee myself doing many many more explaining / educating sessions as he grows older, to his preschool teachers, babysitters, his friend’s parents, etc. etc. etc. Let’s hope the Baby Girl doesn’t have as much as he does, if any at all, otherwise it could be rather traumatic for a girl. Although, it could be a very good incentive for her to never ever wear a bikini (good only from the perspective of us, the parents of course).
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
Two years ago today, our son was born. Two whole years ago!
It was a Sunday. He came 14 days earlier than anticipated. I was not quite prepared for it. On Saturday, I went shopping with a friend for 4 whopping hours, walking around the local mall. The pregnancy had been a real breeze. I had worked that whole week prior, and was going to work the following Monday as well. However, there were other plans, absolutely wonderful plans awaiting us.
I went to bed Saturday night as usual. Had heartburns and took my Tums as usual. At approximately 4 a.m. I woke up to a warm gush down in my nether region. I had absolutely no prior warning whatsoever. I went to the bathroom thinking I had wet myself due to the lack of bladder control I’ve had during the last two trimesters. I nearly shrieked when I saw a trail of pinkish liquid in the bowl, but only in my head. Somehow I was quite calm and collected. I pulled my pants up and went to get hubby to come look. I remember telling him “today is the day.” In the birthing classes, we were told that the baby has to be born within 24 hours of the water breaking.
That reality set in and now we’re frantic. I called the OB line and was told to go to the hospital — she didn’t say how soon. We get dressed and rushed to the hospital, only remembering to bring a few things and forgetting the camera at home! When we arrived at the E.R. we were told to wait, and wait, and wait. I was about to scream. Finally I was brought up to Delivery Wing. The nurse settled me into a small room (the kind that has curtains as doors) and said there aren’t any doctors available at this moment, and it’s near shift change. She didn’t hook me up to anything, in fact, she blatantly told me she did not believe my water had been broken “because this is my first time and I probably don’t know Broken Water from Pee, but we had to wait for the doctors to confirm that, and they’d probably have to run some tests on what exactly the liquid is.” But giving me the benefit of the doubt, she let me have a “room.” I was still gushing liquid, and getting very uncomfortable. Eventually she came and gave me Heavy Duty pads and hooked me and my belly up to some monitor thing, after I walked up and down the hallway giving them nurses extremely dirty looks. 3.5 hours after we arrived at the hospital, a doctor finally came to see me. He took one peek at my bottom and said “yup, her water is broken. Admit her for a real room” and walked away.
I moaned, groaned, winced, and cursed. I was in mild pain and NOT happy about all that waiting.
But I finally got moved into a Delivery Room. By the time this all happened, it was nearly 9 a.m. I tried to call my parents but they had already went out! Hubby sped home to get the camera, my pillow and had some breakfast while I groaned and moaned some more. He even managed to call the in-laws overseas.
Noon comes around, nothing is happening, not in the birthing progression sense. I was so starved at this point I could eat a whole cow. But alas, a woman in labor is not allowed to have any solid foods just in case she might need a c-section. Shortly after noon, these massive sharp pains started and lasted at least 90 minutes. Hubby tried all kinds of rubbing and messaging on me but I did not feel any relief. It got worse and worse! After trying to tough it out, I begged for an epidural NOW. The anesthesiologist took his sweet time to show up, but when he started those drugs, boy did it feel so much better.
I had dilated very little in the next 3 or 4 hours. It was disappointing, and did I mention I was starving? By 5 p.m. I was still not near 10 cm yet. They put some drugs to make it go faster. Finally I was told to push, and push I did for the next 2 hours. Finally I heard a cry. It was a boy! And then I heard myself cry. But I must admit, I was a little taken back by the strange skin coloration. I know - I probably would look much much worse if I just emerge from a pool after being in it for 9 months - but none of the birthing videos we saw showed that color. Of course, he was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever saw, cone headed and all.
What happened next remains a big blur to me. I was so exhausted and hungry, but I finally got to eat something solid after 23 hours of not having had any real food.
The past two years have proven to be the best years of our lives thus far. He has grown so so much and has brought us more joy than we could have ever imagined. Happy 2nd Birthday Dear Son! We love you more than you know.
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
Grossness ahead. Read at your own risk.
As my belly gets increasingly bigger, I’m getting more and more questions and comments. Most of them are the small-talk type and aren’t exactly interested in the real answer. So in response, I also relay the small-talk answer and nothing more. Plus, there are some things you just don’t tell people, ever, especially with people in real life. I have a couple of those somethings.
You the internet knows about my YI, not many others know about it otherwise. Whenever I get asked “how is the pregnancy going?” or “how are you doing?”, I give them the evasive “I am feeling OK, very big and heavy, but OK.” I don’t feel it’s necessary to indulge them on my cootch problem “Well since you asked, actually this pregnancy is BAD. I have had this horrible yeast infection since conception in late November and I STILL have it, and I can’t get rid of it no matter how many different category C medicines I’ve taken. Also, I had this blood clot thing for the entire first trimester and I was bleeding bright red blood a few times and I thought I was going to miscarry, again. As you know, I had a miscarriage in early October. Oh I didn’t tell you about that? Well, this is what happened on that very sad Saturday . . . ”
Yea. That will go real smooth with Real Life People.
The other unmentionable I have is: ulcerative proctitis (UP). It’s basically ulcerative colitis (UC) that is limited to a couple of inches in the lower section of my colon. Lovely conversation topic don’t you think? So yea, I can’t tell anyone in real life except really really really close family members. I must be very vigilant in taking daily medication for it, probably for the rest of my life, as there is still no cure for UC/UP yet and may not be for many more years to come yet. If I forget to take the medicines, then the symptoms come back. In fact, they’ve came back several times already during this pregnancy. On top of that, occasionally I must switch meds as the body builds up resistance over time. There is this constant fear in the back of my mind that one day my colon will be so messed up that I will need to have it surgically removed and then take dumps into a pouch instead. But I can’t talk about any of this with anyone. I mean, how do you even begin to talk about such a thing? And why would anyone want to know such intimate details about my colon?
However, I’m not so sure I want to talk about it IRL, even if someone was willing to listen.
Now that I’ve totally grossed you out, I shift the attention to you. Do you have unmentionables that you cannot discuss with Real Life People? And you’re dying to talk about it with someone, or, would you just die if anyone ever found out?
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
The other day I received an email from an old acquaintance from my college days. We kept in touch for a while after college, but it eventually slowed down and died completely (and guess who was the one not keeping up with keeping in touch?!) with several unanswered emails and even a phone call. I’m assuming it was because of a (new) girl in his life, which wasn’t very nice but hey, everyone handles their relationships differently. Some continue their life as usual, while others shut out most people to dedicate wholly to their new love. And people grow apart over time, even when there are not a whole lot of major changes in life.
I told him about the cancer thing when it happened. In a mass-mail. If anyone holds grudges against me for not sending them a personal email regarding that during that very very difficult phase in my life (I’m sure there were a few . . .), then fuck’em. Frankly, I had no energy nor desire to send out hundreds of personal emails repeating the same thing. Anyhow, I also included him in the regular mass-mail updates as I underwent the treatments. Not a whole lot of response from him. Which is not OK but he was not alone in the inaction.
Anyway. After some 4 years or so, I get this email from him. He said he was going through his old address book and “found me”, and wanted to say hi.
Naive and nice as I am, I take the bite, and replied. Come to find out, they are expecting their first child in just one more month. They got married last year. While I’m happy to hear from him and that life has been treating him very well, I can’t help but think this is the real reason he had emailed me. To tell me about their new upcoming arrival. Yeeeeah.
People generally are self-centered. Everything revolves around them, after all, it’s only human nature. But to what extent and what obvious/transparent ways is totally individualized, and some are better at it than others.
So many has happened and I did not miss his friendship in all these years. I’m guessing that I will be just fine without having regular contact with him. So I’m just going to reply with a “congratulations” email and some more small talk and be done with this. Do you think it is too cold of me? Am I being obnoxious and on a high horse about this? Are there (many) people like this in your life as well, and how do you handle it?
Monday, July 11th, 2005
We don’t know a lot of child-bearing aged people. Well, we do, but all live at least 7 hours of driving distance away. There are many things I wish someone would have taken the time or effort to tell me before I delivered our son 2 years ago. Things that seems logical and common sense, in hindsight of course. I’ll illustrate to you what I mean. And if you have anything to add for the first-timers (or second or third . . . as how you can never have too much advice, and you know how forgetful we all get as we get, ahem, older), so, please do share!
* If you have a sudden gush of (pinkish) liquid coming out of your cootchie at 38 weeks gestation, it is because your water just BROKE! Do NOT let the nurses at the hospital tell you it could be something else and that you don’t know anything because you never had a baby before. And do NOT let them make you wait 3.5 hours before being seen by a doctor or being admitted into the hospital. Because honey, you’re gonna have that baby within 24 hours.
* Ask to hold (and breastfeed, if you do choose to breastfeed) your baby right away. Let the baby suck as much as possible, as this is the fastest way to bring in your milk. And if the baby has problems latching on, ask for help from their lactation consultant. Apparently the hospital where I delivered do not provide their in-house breast pump unless you ask for it. So ASK for it!
* Speaking of breastfeeding, check out your local LLL chapter before you deliver. If you end up needing some help / support, they are very good at that. You might end up making some new friends too.
* Bring a baby nail clipper (and baby mittens) in your hospital bag. They will not trim your baby’s nail for you, even if the length exceeds the longest ever recorded in the Guinness Book of Records and sharp enough to poke someone’s eyeball out.
* Eat before you go to the hospital. They will NOT give you any solid foods once they admit you, even if your labor lasts 15+ HOURS and the last time you had any solid food was 8 HOURS prior. Yeap, that’s 23-hours without ANY solid food going into your tummy . . .
* If you are going with pain medication, get it as soon as you can. Don’t wait for hours trying to tough it out and suffer needlessly since you are going to get it anyways.
* Episiotomy is not as horrifying as it sounds, even with a second degree tear. Although it can be absolutely awful if the tear is too great / not sewn properly.
* Bring your own wipes (and possibly diapers too) for the baby. The ones that were used at our hospital were similar to high grade sand paper. I’m SO not kidding.
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
Within the next few months, I will need to purchase a double stroller. If you’ve had experiences with them, please do share your wisdom! Thanks in advance.
If Baby Girl arrives around the due date, the kids will be about 24 months apart. Baby Boy is quite loving and generous, but I have no way of knowing how he will react to having to share everything including Mama and Baba with his little sister. He might get jealous and hit her, like some horror stories I’ve heard. Or he might fall in love with her immediately and protect her like a real big brother would / should.
So my questions. Do you think a Side by Side double stroller is better to have than a Tandem* one? If you have one of the types, why do you like it / dislike it? Do you have any suggestions on brands?
My only concern (and it’s probably not very realistic) for a Side by Side is that, it will too wide to maneuver through narrow isles and so on. Other than that, I really have no opinion / experience with either thus far.
Thanks so much for your suggestions / advice!
* I’m not entirely sure of the correct name for that style. It’s the type where one seat is in front of the other, in a linear fashion.
Wednesday, July 6th, 2005
I would have used a different post title, like hodgepodge, but I really dislike words that starts with “hodg” . . .
I’m sorry to disappoint those who stumble upon my blog by searching for “well endowed boobs” or similar words / phrases. There is literally nothing to see here folks, so move right along.
For those who found me with “subchorionic hematoma” or “bleeding / spotting” searches, I don’t have any wisdoms to offer except a very heartfelt “I’m sorry”. My doctor did not have a convincing reasoning for what caused mine and no testings were done. At all. It was just “wait and see” and I know that’s not what you want to hear. I’m very sorry and I hope yours resolves like mine has, and that your pregnancy continues to result in a healthy happy baby/babies.
To those who finds me via Julie’s list and spends an hour or more reading my blog without saying as much as a “hello” . . . While it is flattering that you are spending your precious time getting to know me, but, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??? Don’t people say “hello” anymore???
OKay. Back to the regular stuff that is my life.
We have now signed contracts to have our deck built and patio door installed (i.e. signing our life savings away). There is no patio door right now so a new opening has to be cut, and it wouldn’t be so troublesome, except there is a heat register and an electrical outlet on said wall. So we must hire a third and/or fourth company or handyman to take care of the “carpentry work”, and “electrical work”. You see, hubby is not the handy-around-the-house type of guy. I would really like him to be more handy, but no one is perfect. Not even me — I know, what a shock.
Deck / patio door jobs will be starting around mid August, due to the fact that everybody wants a new deck built in the summertime. Since Baby Boy was born 14 days early, I’m guessing Baby Girl will be early as well and arrive right around the same time they are starting to build, or before they complete the jobs.
I joined the local MOMS Club recently. I heard about it from my neighbor who is also a new member and has enjoyed it thus far. I have yet to make new friends, and the paperwork are still being sorted out. I’m looking forward to the playgroup thing that is offered. It will provide our son with more exposure to other children as play pals as well as learning experiences. Summer has just arrived not long ago, but being this is MN, winter is not far away. The playgroup thing will be great during the winter time as we (I mean he) wouldn’t want to spend all day at malls.
In just another three weeks, our baby boy will turn TWO years old! Where has the time gone?! Since we don’t have any experiences with toddlerhood, we are not entirely sure if he has the full fledged “terrible twos” or if he’s just a “mild case”. Or if it’s his teething that’s causing all of this havoc. Whichever it is, it sure is challenging to my low threshold of patience, especially now that I’m huge, uncomfortable, and irritable. However, most days he’s totally a sweetie, making staying home quite enjoyable. Just a few days ago he started to say “I love you, Mama”. Now, how can you stay mad???
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
Today I went for yet another regular OB checkup. It was uneventful which is a relief!
Gestation: 31w1d
My weight: 122 lbs
My blood pressure: 90/58
Baby’s heart rate: 148-155 bpm range
Baby’s position: diagonal (from top right to bottom left of belly)
I gave a pee sample today. I was told I need to do that at every appointment from here on out. I’ve forgotten about this part of the requirement. Luckily that won’t be a problem as I pee just about every 20-30 minutes.
I’m feeling extremely huge, uncomfortable, tired, and generally irritable. She said it is perfectly normal, just hang in there and only nine more weeks to go! She said it is partly due to the already expanded uterus and other muscles from last time that makes it feel heavier, and partly due to the fact that I’m chasing a 23.5 month old toddler around all day. Yes, our boy is turning TWO in less than 3 weeks!
The Y.I. . . . I took the new prescription for a couple of weeks. Nothing got resolved. So I stopped taking it (can you blame me? It’s category C!) I’ve given up on trying to get rid of it. This is the first and only Y.I. I’ve had in my entire life (also probably the longest stretch of time for anyone to have Y.I.) and hopefully it will just go away after I deliver. Maybe that long stretch of menses following delivery will clear everything up.
We (our son and I) went to one of the malls afterwards. I made the brave move of purchasing a baby girl cardigan with embroidered flowers and some girly colored socks. There are SO MUCH MORE choices when buying girl stuff vs. boy stuff. It was a lot of fun looking at all the pretty girl outfits.
Nine more weeks!!!
