Where Are You From?
We dont’ live in New York City, or Los Angeles, or San Francisco. But this is still a fairly big metropolitan place and the population is rather diverse here, yet I still get this question. A lot. If you’re not white, or black, you will get asked this question at some point by some nosy person who could really care less about your answer. Even if you don’t have any weird noticeable accents (a dead giveaway that you’re not local). And it’s usually by people whom you’ve never met before, and will never see again. Or ones who you’re meeting for the very first time. They must just want to make you feel like an outsider, like you don’t belong. They question why you are here, as if they have a right to say “yes you can stay” or “no you must go.”
What is it with the fascination of where people are from. And it’s not just where you grew up, or where you were born. They want to know where all your ancestors are originally from, all the way back to the 1500’s or something.
It saddens me to think that our son will probably get asked this question, more than once, as he grows older. (He was born right here in the midwest). I envision these exchange of words:
Nosy Person: “So sonny, where are you from?”
“Minnesota,” his reply.
“No, I mean, where were you born?”
“In Minnesota”, he replies again.
“Ohhhhh really? Is that right?! Well, where are your parents from then?”
I wonder if this also happens to children who were adopted internationally (who aren’t white or black).
Nosy Person: “So sonny, where are you from?”
“Florida/New Jersey/whatever.”
“No, I mean, where were you born?”
“Uh, I was born in China/Korea/Fiji/birthplace.”
“Wow. What made you come all the way to America?”
“My parents. They adopted me.”
It’s one thing to be truly, genuinely curious. It’s another thing to be a nosy son of a bitch and act like you have a right to know every single branch of this complete stranger’s family tree. And usually, you can tell the difference.
amyesq Said,
March 20, 2005 @ 10:21 pm
Guilty as charged. I ask this question quite a bit, although I certainly never mean anything bad by it. I think part of the reason I ask is that I grew up approximately eleven miles from where I happen to be sitting at this very moment and so I have a natural curiousity about folks who come from different places. I love to learn about different people and what attracts them to a certain place. I do have to say, however, that I do live in a very diverse place - a place to which many people move and of which not many people are natives. So my questions are never motivated by someone looking different than everyone else. There is no such thing here. Does that make it OK?
sweetisu Said,
March 22, 2005 @ 9:55 am
Amy - it’s definitely OK for me, when the question is not motivated by looks alone. Sometimes you just have to ask the person where they’re from. However in my experiences, I feel as though it all stems from the fact that I’m not white or black. Also, I don’t appreciate complete strangers asking me this as the ice breaker.
I’m sorry if I came off differently in the post.