Not (Easily) Distracted

Today, I am.. I don’t know. Yes. I don’t know how I am today, or any day for that matter. I just know what I am not — pregnant — that’s what I am not.

It seems that I’m stuck in these mixture of feelings and don’t know how to get out of it. I feel very sad and alot of anguish, add in bitterness and anger. It’s probably normal, you say. Yet I have to put up a facade at work, among friends and coworkers. I have to act normal. No one wants to hear what’s on my mind; no one cares how I just want to be alone, yet surrounded with love and hugs. I have to keep going, meeting everyone’s needs (except mine of course), and doing the mundane daily routine stuff.

But for my dear son Sebastian’s sake, for my dear husband’s sake, and probably for my own goodness, I must move on from this stagnant stage. I need to muster the strength to let go and move on. I need to focus on what’s in my life instead of what’s not. To accomplish that, I need to be distracted. Maybe that’ll work.